Oh, how precious! Friday, March 19, 2010

I know, I know-- how many times do we need to hear "precious" when it comes to something wedding-related? But hear me out.

Look at these little cakes:

I found them via The Kitchn blog, and they are super adorable. They're made easily via these little pans from Williams Sonoma:

 

Unfortunately, I never experienced the whole, "all-my-friends-are-getting-married-at-the-same-time" phenomenon that seems to happen to everyone in their mid/late 20s, but if I did, this would be my signature bridal-shower item.

However, I can imagine other uses for it: that time you're asked to bring something to a work wedding shower (being an elementary school teacher, this happens all the time), my own bridal shower, little girls' birthday parties. Says one commenter: "I've got a 5yo little princess, and I'm telling you we would use it ALL THE TIME. For birthdays, for tea parties, or for special-occasion dinners... I'm actually considering buying one to use for her next birthday party. They are just so cute." I think she says it all!

*Images credit: Williams Sonoma

Buzz, Buzz

Wow, I'm a Bee! I'm so excited to join the Weddingbee community. I first heard about Weddingbee about four years ago, when I was Googling for something else. I thought, "Oh, that's nice" and that was it.

A few years later, after I'd met Mr. Oyster and become engaged, I thought, "Wasn't there something about a bee...?" And here I am! What did brides do before the internet? I'm 14 months into our 18 month engagement, and I can't imagine planning a wedding without the Hive! 

So, who are these Oyster people?

Credit

I met Mr. Oyster nearly two years ago in a photography class. Turns out we'd both signed up to keep busy during the summer months (we are teachers) and Mr. Oyster says he immediately noticed me. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for him. I just wasn't really paying attention. I noticed that he seemed to ask me for help with his camera a lot.

This the first photo I ever took of him during that class. I remember that, while I was claiming not to notice this guy, he sure did have a nice smile.

Later, when he asked me to go to the museum with him, I accepted on the condition that it was not a "date." Hey, what can I say, I was resistant! But Mr. Oyster's intelligence, generous spirit and kindness soon won me over. Not to mention the fact that we are incredibly similar in some ways, completely different with others, and we seem to compliment each other perfectly. After dating five months, we were engaged!

I've spent most of my adult life single and independent, and, like any 30-year-old first time bride, it's been interesting to balance my independence with my upcoming married life. I am thoroughly enjoying the process! Mr. Oyster and I are equal parts traditional and modern, eclectic and mainstream. As we plan our wedding together, we spend lots of time laughing, dancing to music, singing songs and playing with our four (!) cats.

Why "Oyster"? Well, it's an adorable icon, and I do like to wear pearls on occasion. I hear that oysters are supposed to be a sexy type of food, but I truly wouldn't know. I'm allergic to shellfish.

Featured: So You're EnGAYged Thursday, March 18, 2010

I love the blog SYE and when I saw an invitation for people to write something about what the blog means to them, I didn't hesitate. Well, the other day I found that they're featuring these comments for a few days to celebrate the blog's one year anniversary! And they chose me! You can check out my feature here, but they've been doing this all week (and you should really add SYE to your reader, as well). This is what I wrote:


Happy one-year to your blog! I think I’ve been reading it since it began. 

I love this blog and look forward to its posts every day. My fiance & I are a straight couple. Of course, why should that keep me from reading SYE? I love the ideas here, the sentiments expressed, and of course all the real weddings. 

We are an interracial couple; I’m black, he’s white. When my fiance was born, interracial marriage was illegal in many states. I’ve spent a good portion of my life fighting racism in every day life, but falling in love with my fiance was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. It’s a shame that we live in a world where the expression of that love could be judged by someone else. 

In light of all that, I love that SYE does such a great job discussing LGBT issues as they relate to weddings, and, unlike many wedding blogs, keeping the focus on what matters: love, marriage, and the intention to start a life together. Thank you for being a bright spot in the wedding blogosphere.

Things I'll Learn from Wedding Planning Wednesday, March 17, 2010

For better or worse, I'm putting a lot of my heart & soul into this wedding, and now that our engagement is starting to wind down (or wind up, as the case may be), I'm thinking more about what I'll take away from this engagement process. Here are some that immediately come to mind:

Self Image. I'll be writing another post on this later, but the fact that I'll be seen by many (and for many years to come) in my wedding dress has forced me to confront some truths about the way I see myself, and it hasn't always been an easy process.

I've re-discovered sewing and even purchased my first sewing machine. The process of having my dress made required me to think a lot about fabric, fashion, and how things are constructed, and I actually like that stuff! Go figure. I finally know what my mother was doing when she'd see a dress in the department store, look closely at the seams, and head to Hancock.

Organization. I've always considered myself organized, but my army of spreadsheets, charts, graphs, and folders have shown me that I really can organize a huge event and simultaneously deal with the merging of household finances. It helps that FH is constantly telling me how impressed he is. ;-)

After the wedding, I'm planning on working more with my photography business. I was always a little scared of starting a business on my own, but I have more confidence now that I could organize something as complicated as a business, if I wanted to.

Family drama. Unfortunately, my family's had its share of drama-inducing moments, mostly, weddings and funerals. At this point, I really feel that (a) I can predict pretty well who will be dramatic and how they will act out, (b) I am too old to worry about what they are doing and (c) I'm too focused on my own life to care.  I find that having this attitude actually encourages people to respect me more. In fact, I anticipated drama where there wasn't much at all. Another "go, figure!" here.

Domesticity. I hope it was merely coincidence that, on the same day I told the D.J. I'd like us to be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. [Fiance's Name], I went out and bought the sewing machine. I know there are some ways in which I'm thoroughly modern (hello, first marriage at the age of 30!) and others where I'm just like my great-grandmother. I still feel a little conflicted about it, though.

Oh, no!!!

There are so many more things I could list. I think this post will require a sequel!

Anyone else? Is all this time/energy spent planning your wedding actually helpful to you in some way?

Some dreadful disaster Monday, March 15, 2010

Today I was visiting with my future in-laws, and FMIL was recounting the days of planning FSIL's first wedding, which was about 20 years ago now. It was a huge super-formal wedding, with all the requisite drama, and is the stuff of family legend.

While telling yet another story from this epic wedding, FMIL says, "Don't worry. On your wedding day, something will go wrong. It will be some dreadful disaster; just know that it will happen, but don't worry, everything will be o.k. Just focus on what matters most."

I know people say this, but really? Don't some brides, somewhere, have perfect wedding days? Or at least, days that seem perfect?

And of course, this gives me the chance to think about my wedding fears. I have a bunch of them, from having kids mess up the wedding to vendors who, despite seeming reliable, suddenly choose not to show up or disappear entirely. Plus there are the logistics of getting 100+ people from different parts of the country to the wedding venue, and all the little steps of planning (what if I forget something?). It seems like every step of the way, there's something to worry about.

At this, maybe I can apply one of my favorite quotes from President Obama. In response to something, some negotiation or another, he said, "I'm not going to anticipate problems." I took this to mean that one should be aware of the things that could go wrong, try your best to stop trouble before it starts, and then  go forward hoping for the best.

This seems like the best approach -- after all, on the day of the wedding itself, all you can do is let go and do your best to live in the moment.

What are your wedding fears? Have you faced them yet?


*The photo above has nothing to do with anything, except that she's a literal representation of a bride who's got "too much going on."

The Deadline in my Head Saturday, March 6, 2010

Every so often it seems like I have a "wedding week--" a super-productive whirlwind of a week where I try to get everything done before a certain (often arbitrary) deadline. This deadline doesn't correspond to any checklist or "recommended list of tasks" or anything like that. I look at the list of things to be done for the wedding, and decide that they'll be done by a certain date. Then I don't do anything.

But invariably, I wake up one dayand suddenly have a burning desire to do everything on that imaginary list. At once.

The last one of these occurred before Christmas. I was going out of town, and it would be the holidays, and that would mean New Years', and so I got it in my head all the things I wanted to do before we were "six months out." I remember a week full of appointments, bookings, and check writing. It was a blur. Could it have been done a week or two later? Sure! But I felt better, having met the deadline in my head.

So this week, I have three meetings with vendors, finish gathering addresses for the invites, finalize the guest list, set up hotel blocks, and schedule yet more appointments for Spring Break, which is week after next. Oh yeah, and I'm also working full time and going to physical therapy for that back injury.

Normally, committing myself to coming home late every night would be terribly exhausting and I would dread it. But for some reason, I'm totally energized! It's for the wedding! I'll meet the deadline in my head!

Oh, and the most exciting of all? On Tuesday, I'll see my dress for the first time! I can't wait to see it, and, of course, to share it with you! 

*This book is hilarious. I read it years ago and again when I got engaged. It's funny for many reasons, most notably, the bride's ever-growing checklist.

Coming Together... Saturday, November 28, 2009

I'm starting to get a definite vision for the wedding now, less than eight months away. (!) So, I decided to make another inspiration board. Here it is (click to enlarge)!


I've been leaning toward the classic black-tie look, with a light pink/neutral color scheme. I don't have a lot of details yet, mostly because (a) there aren't going to be too many of them and (b) I haven't picked them yet! But here's an overall look. I imagine it will be honed down quite a bit between now and the big day! You might recognize the man in the tuxedo from my post on menswear the other day.


Credits:
Place setting/table flowers by Cherie Photo (Amy & Sean).
Bridal bouquet and aisle flowers from D Weddings, photo by Steven Karlisch (Lillian & Charles).
Earrings by Tejani, style B0877.
Small floral arrangement by Karen Tran.
Image of Darcy Miller Nussbaum at her wedding from Martha Stewart Weddings, photo by Holger Thoss (Darcy & Andy).
Invitations from Smock Papers (style Vettore).
Place cards from Martha Stewart Weddings, photo by Dan Loh (Priya & Ralph).
Dress from Priscilla of Boston, style 4111.
Man in tuxedo from David Wittig (Dena & Gavin).
Image of engagement set from the internet.

Playing the Wedding Card Saturday, October 10, 2009

I was trying to pay one of my vendors, and my card was declined. Oh no! The result of poor money management? Cutting it too close between a deposit and a payout?

Nope (well, at least not this time)!

Turns out I have a daily "transaction limit" on the card. Who knew? So, I called the bank... best to speak to them and make sure they knew I wasn't the victim of some scam. As I spoke to them, they wanted to know why I needed the limit increased, and I told them that I'm planning a wedding and trying to make deposits.

As I said this, the lady on the phone is *so* excited for me. "Congratulations!" she says, and puts the limit increase through immediately. "Weddings are so exciting! I hope you have a wonderful day!" I thought it was very sweet, especially since her enthusiasm and sincerity came through, even over the phone.

Inadvertently, I'd played the "wedding" card, and received excellent customer service as a result. Unfair? Perhaps. I mean, if I'd been trying to appeal to her good will to get "one up" over some other customer, like cutting in line or something, I suppose. But I think of all those wedding advice columns, that instruct brides & grooms to make sure the hotel & restaurant staff know that you're on your honeymoon. Sometimes you'll get a perk, sometimes not. I don't think there's any harm in appealing to people's natural sense of good will.

Have you played the wedding card? How did it work out?


Photo from Flickr user !efatima

Nine Months! Thursday, October 8, 2009

This week marks nine months until the wedding. It also means I am halfway through our engagement.

Holy moly.

I realize many people successfully plan their weddings in a lot less than 9 months, but for me, it's a milestone; not only is it the halfway point, but it's about the time that I've started to look more closely at our wedding as something more than some abstract day in the future.

When I'd speak with vendors, especially early on, it was just impossible for me to imagine the actual wedding. I knew I wanted to marry FH, sure. And I knew I wanted our family & friends there, and that I wanted things to be beautiful and interesting and for everyone to be happy. But I think that's all I knew, and all I needed to know. After all, isn't it more important to focus on the big picture of what a marriage and wedding means?

My abstract thinking was helpful in every instance but one, but I'm glad for my little photographer crisis. I could finally picture this wedding as something real, and relate it to me personally, and start to imagine myself as a bride. Maybe it's related to FH and I having a relatively short courtship, or maybe it's because for so many years I thought I'd only be relegated to taking pictures of brides, and not being one. Who knows? But it's here now, and there's no denying it.

In the next 3 months, I'd like to:
- Decide on: Floral/table décor, a dress (!)
- Book: Portrait photographer, wedding planner, officiant, ceremony & cocktail hour musicians
- Initial meetings with planner & DJ
- Finish our website
- Plan/book our upcoming trip (see below)

Let's see... what have I done so far?
- Finished: Budget, timeline, guest list.
- Booked: Venue/caterer, photographer, DJ, florist.
- Found: Fabric store/seamstress (for the dress!), wedding planner
- Purchased: Bridal jewelry.

And just when it seems that we've checked off another item, we end up adding another one. With the addition of our new photographers, who are out of state, we need to travel to have our engagement session done. We thought about having them visit us here in Dallas, but it seemed prohibitive for a 2 hour photoshoot. As it turns out, FH has some friends in their area, and for the same amount we could go visit a new (to me, anyway) city and have some great pictures done.

Can anyone recommend any must-sees in Chicago?


Previous "countdown" posts

In Front of My Face Sunday, October 4, 2009

So finding a photogapher became a full time job. I started scouring websites, posting in message boards, looking for recommendations. I had one "dream photographer" in the DFW area, but I thought he was way too expensive. Once I had my unfortunate epiphany, I found a way to afford him... but by then he was booked. So, back to the drawing board.

And what kind of wedding will we be having? I asked myself this repeatedly as Jessica Claire's words rang in my head.

• Style: I imagine our wedding to be timeless & classic. We're not using a lot of "trendy" ideas or superfluous stuff. Okay, that's easy.
• We are not a particularly "wacky" couple... so someone who focuses on capturing wild and unexpected moments probably isn't for us.
  
• Time of day & location: Well, it's Dallas in the summer, so our wedding is indoors. This would eliminate anyone who does primarily outdoor, sunset, California-style weddings (or those featured on the wedding blogs lately... when are they going to stop with all the outdoor weddings!).
  

What do my instincts say? I realized that I react most to beautiful, classic images taken with film; black & white images capturing emotion, moments with family & friends, private moments between couples, fine art-style detail shots of dresses and veils and other details.

I came up with a rating system that helped me sort based on personality, technical know-how, customer service, and a few other things. But pretty quickly it came down to one thing: feeling.

I had to see images so good that I wanted to go back to them again & again. They had to be good enough for me to feel something every single time, to say, "Oh, how cute!" instead of "nice lighting." An absence of gimmicks, overprocessing, or images that were technically brilliant but lifeless. The images needed to tell the story of the day and give me a sense of who the couple is, and make me react, again and again.

But who? Whose images do I keep looking at? And it turns out the answer was right in front of me. There's a blog I subscribe to that has beautiful images. Every time this photographer posts a new wedding, I always take time out to stop and look at the slideshow, or at the pictures, or whatever. I consistently loved them. But I never thought of him for our wedding. He's too far away! Too expensive! And besides, he's like a celebrity to me, someone whose work I've studied and loved for two years or so.

Eventually, I got over myself and dared to click over to his pricing page. Hey, it was in our budget! And he's not as far away as I thought! I sent an inquiry for availability, and while I waited, I looked at the images repeatedly and in-depth. It seemed perfect. Plus, his artistic style meant that FH was on board, too.

Two days later, I got word -- he's available! The past week has been spent with emails back & forth, spreadsheet calculations, telephone consultations, and finally, we submitted our package request and are waiting for the final contract. Success!

I'll make a formal announcement and introduction when it gets closer to the wedding. I can't wait! I can't believe the answer was in front of me the whole time!

Photographers, Seeking Same Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Knowing that I was looking at photographers in a different way than most brides, I decided to quit looking at endless websites & photographers' blogs and just think about what I wanted from this particular vendor. And who better to listen to than someone who's already faced this dilemma?

Wedding photographers! And this week, I've been listening more closely than ever. As I continue with this drama (not much happening at the moment, just in between meetings & phone calls, and evaluating portfolios), here's what's been ringing in my head:

"I don't believe [that] every photographer (or any photographer) is the best at everything. I think that certain people are the best at specific things, and Jose [Villa] is the best at the particular kind of wedding that Jeff and I are going to be having." - Jessica Claire

Hmm. What kind of wedding are we having? Better answer this one, quick.

"My priorities for a wedding photographer were [...] that I be able to look at the wedding photos and know undoubtedly that he/she did the best job with our day that could be done..." - Jessica Claire

No pressure, right??

"On my wedding day itself, I want the day to just unfold organically and I want to remember the story and all of the little stories that make up the big story. I want to see moments in my pictures that maybe I wasn’t even present for and I want to be able to relive the way the day felt. So, knowing this I knew that I wanted to go with someone who is a photojournalist…someone who can tell a story with an image…someone who can create images that say more than what is at first obvious to the viewer. Images that make you want to look a little deeper and stare a little longer." - Justine Ungaro

This one I'd already considered... one of my long-standing marks of a good photographer is that his/her images make me cry, even when I don't know the people in them.

I needed to do some soul-searching, think long & hard about how I want our wedding to be remembered, and fast.

*Photo of Justine Ungaro on her wedding day by Greg Gibson

First Bout of Wedding Anguish Monday, September 28, 2009

Hey, what's a blog without a little drama, right? Well, for the past week, I've had plenty of internal drama.

So I'm a photographer, and I've been informally studying photography for years. For the past two, I've been seriously into wedding photography. If there's a top name out there, I know it.

But since I can't afford those top names, I started looking for a local & affordable photographer the minute I got engaged. After seven months, I found one. I met him, he was nice, and I booked him.

Sure, there were some shots that needed better lighting. Sure, I would need to process some of the shots. And maybe some of them should have been in black & white. But it's okay. He's been in lots of magazines. He's world class. He gets good reviews! And besides, I don't need any of those high-class photographers. What would they do with someone like me, anyway?

This conversation went on in my head for weeks. The truth is, for some strange reason, I was totally intimidated by the idea of hiring one of the best. They kind of scared me. And I was somehow unable to fully admit how incredibly important photography is to me. I just didn't want to face up to it -- the wedding is one event, over in one day, and every decision counts. Especially this one.

Once the original photog cashed my check, it really hit the fan. I started seeing his blog posts, and the photography has actually gotten worse. Technical issues galore, allowing strange people to second-shoot... it was awful. Finally, after one weekend looking at wedding photog's sites and thinking, "Wow, I'll never get a shot like that from _____," it was time to make a choice.

And I've decided to fire my photographer. I feel awful... we'll be walking away from our 25% deposit (and I hope we don't owe anymore), and I feel terrible that my lack of self-esteem and poor judgment led to such a money- and time-wasting decision. But at least it's not at the expense of my wedding photos.

I also want to add that this guy is a wonderful photographer, for many happy clients a year. But just not me. I've realized that I want a style of photography that he just doesn't offer, and my technical picky-ness isn't a reflection of his talent. But in order for me to be happy, I have to move in a different direction.

Making that decision gave me the most peace I've felt in weeks.

And now we start again...!

Choosing a DJ Thursday, September 10, 2009

Since a few of my major vendors are already booked, I thought I'd post something about the selection process.

I am super excited to work with our DJ. I thought (for about 5 minutes) of having an iPod reception (remember, I was in "garden wedding" mode), but I gave up on that idea fast. There are just too many variables, and asking a friend to DJ our wedding instead of being an actual guest seemed kind of sad, and we didn't have anyone we thought would volunteer. That said, I think an ipod wedding can work very well if you're creative & have the resources (sound system, a consistently working laptop, etc.). Because we are into international music and mixed genres, I didn't even consider a live band, although I do plan to have live music for the ceremony & cocktail hour.

So I knew I wanted a DJ. I know that FH and I are *major* music fiends, and we needed someone with the expertise and interests to be able to play several different genres and get the crowd to relate to them all. I also wanted someone who could keep the party moving. Our party would be quite a challenge; we'll have people of all ages, from 2- and 6- year olds up to people in their 80s, and we want them all to have a great time.

Other than that I had no idea where to start with this, no idea about price points or anything except what theknot.com calculator said a DJ should cost. I started emailing at random. I started by looking at the vendors in the one place I'm familiar: other photographers' blogs. Seriously! I already subscribe to a million photography blogs, several of them local, and it's a great resource. If the people were having a great time in the photos, I paid extra special attention to who the DJ was.

I sent out brief emails saying we were looking for a DJ with experience with multicultural crowds and an interest in different genres of music.

One person wrote back and said I was "weird." Another didn't respond.

Then, I found one more DJ on WeddingWire. He just had a nice look about him, and his website was pretty good. I emailed him and not only could he accommodate us, but he seemed excited about it! On speaking to him, he was just as congenial and knowledgeable as his emails suggested. I liked him so much that I figured his price was high -- and it was. A quick search, however, revealed that what I thought was "high" was "average for this area."

It was four months before I called him back to book him for our wedding. In the meantime, I discovered that he was DJ for a wedding of one of my coworkers, who had a beautiful wedding about a year ago. I felt comfortable with him, and it was a no-brainer.

We'll see how it goes next summer, but I have a pretty good feeling about it. We'll be meeting in December to talk about details, song lists, and schedules. I'll be compiling my song list in the meantime!

How'm I Doin'? Friday, August 28, 2009

On the sidebar, I've added a task list so you can see my wedding progress! As you can see, I've got quite a bit to do, which seems normal for someone with 11 months left.

I decided to list items based on what I've done so far, rather than what still has to be done, because that would get seriously overwhelming.

Flowers! Monday, August 17, 2009

After my traumatic dress experience, it might be nice to focus on something other than fashion. I realize that I haven't written much about my favorite floral arrangements!

I've really been drawn to flowers that are kind of in a neutral palette, since that goes with our venue pretty well. I love pink, but don't like hot pink or "baby" pink. We'll see what we end up with... but so far, here are my favorites.

I love the idea of tying little bouquets to the aisle chairs. Originally I was set on having rose petals on the floor, but I think this might be more elegant... and easier for our venue to clean up! Plus, they look great with the chiavari chairs! Ours are gold, like the ones pictured below: (Photo by Stephen Karlisch).



For the tables, I love this neutral one. I imagine we'd add a little more pink, but in general this is the style I like: (photo by Cherie Photo)


And of course, what's more important than the bride's bouquet? I personally don't believe in having too much contrast in the bridal attire; I think it would be nice to have one seamless look. That said, I love these monochromatic textured bouquets, like this one: (photo by Stephen Karlisch)


So far, those are my favorites. Who knows, I might channel some other style in a month and change it all! But these are the looks that make me melt.

And finally, I don't know what I'd do with this, but I sure love looking at it:

Holy Moly! Friday, July 17, 2009

Ta-da! We have a venue! We now have an *official* wedding date!

We've been engaged for several months now, and it's so nice to feel like we've done something. Now, it's time for me to get started on... everything else. Oh, no...

Well, that didn't last long, did it? But it's great to finally have a place in mind and start creating a vision for the wedding.

We didn't go with the "loft" place, but we did end up with a place that wasn't a "typical Ballroom," either. It's got some traditional elements but has a modern sort of decor, and the room is beautiful - full of windows for lots of light.

Also, the price was excellent! I was starting to panic at the idea of having to provide all the extra decor and supplies for the loft wedding. We'd even have to buy napkins & silverware (cheaper than renting), and the idea of buying/renting things and then having to worry about setting everything up... no, thank you. I feel very peaceful about our choice!

Safety First Friday, July 10, 2009

An uncomfortable issue, for sure, but one worth talking about: wedding insurance.

The quickest way to get me to have a panic attack is to show me the wedding budget, and compare it to what's actually in our accounts. Sure, we have plans to save up (a whole schedule, in fact), and we aren't going into debt for our wedding (hooray!), and we have it all planned out. But you know what they say - God laughs when you make plans!

So, now that we're about to put down some hefty deposits (therefore committing to pay large amounts), we hope God is not laughing too hard. I'm thinking about wedding insurance.

I first found the idea from our interest in the loft/standalone venues, which require liability insurance. But I started looking into cancelation/postponement insurance. I've heard so many horror stories -- family tragedies, injuries, accidents, freak tornadoes, job losses, etc... I just hate thinking about it! And on top of that, people are forced to cancel and lose their money?! Most of the time in these situations, it's up to the sympathy of the vendor whether you get your money back or can use it towards a postponement. I thought it would be worth it to buy a little peace of mind.

Photo by Marie Labbancz.

One Year to Go! Monday, July 6, 2009

My fiancé sweetly pointed out that our "one-year" date is coming up pretty soon! I am *so lucky* to have a guy who's so unabashedly excited that we're going to get married. And I'm thrilled, too! But oh, wow... a year! I've already been engaged for six months. What have I done?

We've created our:
- budget,
- guest list,
- wedding website,
- store registries,
- timeline
We have chosen the following vendors (we haven't booked them yet):
- Invitations
- Florist
- DJ
- photographer
- hair/makeup artist
- wedding planner
And we've selected a honeymoon destination.

The last vendors to select: a cake baker, an officiant, and musicians (ceremony & cocktail hour).

What's holding us up? Well, we're currently working on the most important vendor of all: a venue! Once we find that, we'll be able to book the other vendors in no time! I won't even choose a dress until we have the venue in place.

In the meantime, I'm packing up to move to my fiancé's house, preparing for an upcoming photoshoot, and hanging out with my friends & enjoying my days off!

One year to go!

Putting Planning into Perspective Sunday, June 28, 2009

This weekend I came across two articles that help me put wedding planning into perspective.

Which shade of pink? Which venue? How to arrange the tables? What about my dress? None of this matters nearly as much as the marriage itself.

This week's NYT wedding features Jennifer & Paul, who joined their families together in a lovely ceremony this week in Sacramento, CA. The article and its accompanying sidebar are worth a read.

What was I thinking?! Sunday, June 21, 2009

Well, my outdoor wedding dreams have been put to rest.

This past weekend, we went to the historical site, the site of the photo in the previous post, and it was a let down. The buildings are run down, the fee is outrageous for what you get (and you have to PAY for air conditioning), the parking & restrooms are far away (a big inconvenience for guests, many of whom are elderly) and it's just not going to work.

And also? It's SO HOT!! It feels like it's 200 degrees outside. What was I thinking, hoping for a sunset ceremony in Texas in July? I can't stand the heat for 5 minutes! And I want to wear a wedding dress and get married in it? No, thank you! I guess I've been reading too much Martha Stewart.

On the way from that place, we stopped by a very cool loft south of downtown. The director was there setting up for a wedding, and I felt terrible for interrupting! But she was gracious enough to spend a few minutes with us and give us a tour. How nice! It looks so interesting:






It's a pretty cool venue, and has an advantage over most lofts in that they provide lounge furniture, tables, chairs, and set-up. We have the other advantage of choosing our own caterer and getting to buy our own drinks. The Fiancé loves it and was ready to book!

But I am not so sure. A loft certainly seems to fit us. We're a pretty eclectic couple, we plan to have international music at our wedding. We love travel & culture. We watch international & independent films. Our favorite store is Anthropologie. There are so many ways we are not "mainstream." So there are definitely aspects of us that match a "cool loft" wedding.

So why is the decision so hard? Well, I am having a hard time letting go of that classic pink ballroom wedding aesthetic. I mean, it's so easy! Light pink is everywhere! Pink ballroom weddings are ubiquitous, and I see hundreds of them every day. It's easy to find a classic A-line romantic dress, perfectly pink swirly invitations, and lots of other traditional details. Not to mention it's the wedding I've pictured since I was much younger.

All this time I've been loudly decrying the sameness of these cookie-cutter weddings, and now I find that underneath it all, I want one of my own, even if it doesn't quite match us.

Should a wedding reflect your personal style, or should it be a reflection of what you aspire to? The latter seems absurd, especially since no matter how you "style" it, an American wedding is at once timeless, ritualistic, and yet hopelessly dated.

Stay tuned! I bet when you started reading this blog you didn't know I'd turn out to be so wildly inconsistent!