Oh, how precious! Friday, March 19, 2010

I know, I know-- how many times do we need to hear "precious" when it comes to something wedding-related? But hear me out.

Look at these little cakes:

I found them via The Kitchn blog, and they are super adorable. They're made easily via these little pans from Williams Sonoma:

 

Unfortunately, I never experienced the whole, "all-my-friends-are-getting-married-at-the-same-time" phenomenon that seems to happen to everyone in their mid/late 20s, but if I did, this would be my signature bridal-shower item.

However, I can imagine other uses for it: that time you're asked to bring something to a work wedding shower (being an elementary school teacher, this happens all the time), my own bridal shower, little girls' birthday parties. Says one commenter: "I've got a 5yo little princess, and I'm telling you we would use it ALL THE TIME. For birthdays, for tea parties, or for special-occasion dinners... I'm actually considering buying one to use for her next birthday party. They are just so cute." I think she says it all!

*Images credit: Williams Sonoma

Buzz, Buzz

Wow, I'm a Bee! I'm so excited to join the Weddingbee community. I first heard about Weddingbee about four years ago, when I was Googling for something else. I thought, "Oh, that's nice" and that was it.

A few years later, after I'd met Mr. Oyster and become engaged, I thought, "Wasn't there something about a bee...?" And here I am! What did brides do before the internet? I'm 14 months into our 18 month engagement, and I can't imagine planning a wedding without the Hive! 

So, who are these Oyster people?

Credit

I met Mr. Oyster nearly two years ago in a photography class. Turns out we'd both signed up to keep busy during the summer months (we are teachers) and Mr. Oyster says he immediately noticed me. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for him. I just wasn't really paying attention. I noticed that he seemed to ask me for help with his camera a lot.

This the first photo I ever took of him during that class. I remember that, while I was claiming not to notice this guy, he sure did have a nice smile.

Later, when he asked me to go to the museum with him, I accepted on the condition that it was not a "date." Hey, what can I say, I was resistant! But Mr. Oyster's intelligence, generous spirit and kindness soon won me over. Not to mention the fact that we are incredibly similar in some ways, completely different with others, and we seem to compliment each other perfectly. After dating five months, we were engaged!

I've spent most of my adult life single and independent, and, like any 30-year-old first time bride, it's been interesting to balance my independence with my upcoming married life. I am thoroughly enjoying the process! Mr. Oyster and I are equal parts traditional and modern, eclectic and mainstream. As we plan our wedding together, we spend lots of time laughing, dancing to music, singing songs and playing with our four (!) cats.

Why "Oyster"? Well, it's an adorable icon, and I do like to wear pearls on occasion. I hear that oysters are supposed to be a sexy type of food, but I truly wouldn't know. I'm allergic to shellfish.

Featured: So You're EnGAYged Thursday, March 18, 2010

I love the blog SYE and when I saw an invitation for people to write something about what the blog means to them, I didn't hesitate. Well, the other day I found that they're featuring these comments for a few days to celebrate the blog's one year anniversary! And they chose me! You can check out my feature here, but they've been doing this all week (and you should really add SYE to your reader, as well). This is what I wrote:


Happy one-year to your blog! I think I’ve been reading it since it began. 

I love this blog and look forward to its posts every day. My fiance & I are a straight couple. Of course, why should that keep me from reading SYE? I love the ideas here, the sentiments expressed, and of course all the real weddings. 

We are an interracial couple; I’m black, he’s white. When my fiance was born, interracial marriage was illegal in many states. I’ve spent a good portion of my life fighting racism in every day life, but falling in love with my fiance was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. It’s a shame that we live in a world where the expression of that love could be judged by someone else. 

In light of all that, I love that SYE does such a great job discussing LGBT issues as they relate to weddings, and, unlike many wedding blogs, keeping the focus on what matters: love, marriage, and the intention to start a life together. Thank you for being a bright spot in the wedding blogosphere.

Things I'll Learn from Wedding Planning Wednesday, March 17, 2010

For better or worse, I'm putting a lot of my heart & soul into this wedding, and now that our engagement is starting to wind down (or wind up, as the case may be), I'm thinking more about what I'll take away from this engagement process. Here are some that immediately come to mind:

Self Image. I'll be writing another post on this later, but the fact that I'll be seen by many (and for many years to come) in my wedding dress has forced me to confront some truths about the way I see myself, and it hasn't always been an easy process.

I've re-discovered sewing and even purchased my first sewing machine. The process of having my dress made required me to think a lot about fabric, fashion, and how things are constructed, and I actually like that stuff! Go figure. I finally know what my mother was doing when she'd see a dress in the department store, look closely at the seams, and head to Hancock.

Organization. I've always considered myself organized, but my army of spreadsheets, charts, graphs, and folders have shown me that I really can organize a huge event and simultaneously deal with the merging of household finances. It helps that FH is constantly telling me how impressed he is. ;-)

After the wedding, I'm planning on working more with my photography business. I was always a little scared of starting a business on my own, but I have more confidence now that I could organize something as complicated as a business, if I wanted to.

Family drama. Unfortunately, my family's had its share of drama-inducing moments, mostly, weddings and funerals. At this point, I really feel that (a) I can predict pretty well who will be dramatic and how they will act out, (b) I am too old to worry about what they are doing and (c) I'm too focused on my own life to care.  I find that having this attitude actually encourages people to respect me more. In fact, I anticipated drama where there wasn't much at all. Another "go, figure!" here.

Domesticity. I hope it was merely coincidence that, on the same day I told the D.J. I'd like us to be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. [Fiance's Name], I went out and bought the sewing machine. I know there are some ways in which I'm thoroughly modern (hello, first marriage at the age of 30!) and others where I'm just like my great-grandmother. I still feel a little conflicted about it, though.

Oh, no!!!

There are so many more things I could list. I think this post will require a sequel!

Anyone else? Is all this time/energy spent planning your wedding actually helpful to you in some way?

Some dreadful disaster Monday, March 15, 2010

Today I was visiting with my future in-laws, and FMIL was recounting the days of planning FSIL's first wedding, which was about 20 years ago now. It was a huge super-formal wedding, with all the requisite drama, and is the stuff of family legend.

While telling yet another story from this epic wedding, FMIL says, "Don't worry. On your wedding day, something will go wrong. It will be some dreadful disaster; just know that it will happen, but don't worry, everything will be o.k. Just focus on what matters most."

I know people say this, but really? Don't some brides, somewhere, have perfect wedding days? Or at least, days that seem perfect?

And of course, this gives me the chance to think about my wedding fears. I have a bunch of them, from having kids mess up the wedding to vendors who, despite seeming reliable, suddenly choose not to show up or disappear entirely. Plus there are the logistics of getting 100+ people from different parts of the country to the wedding venue, and all the little steps of planning (what if I forget something?). It seems like every step of the way, there's something to worry about.

At this, maybe I can apply one of my favorite quotes from President Obama. In response to something, some negotiation or another, he said, "I'm not going to anticipate problems." I took this to mean that one should be aware of the things that could go wrong, try your best to stop trouble before it starts, and then  go forward hoping for the best.

This seems like the best approach -- after all, on the day of the wedding itself, all you can do is let go and do your best to live in the moment.

What are your wedding fears? Have you faced them yet?


*The photo above has nothing to do with anything, except that she's a literal representation of a bride who's got "too much going on."

More Than Centerpieces Thursday, March 11, 2010

This photo and its accompanying blog post made my day. It's from one of my favorite photographers, Ryan Brenizer.

Mr. Brenizer is a wonderful wedding photographer based in New York. I found him on Flickr a while back and have read his blog for a couple years (as well as his photography column for Amazon.com). One of the things he does best is capture unscripted moments, often the wackiest ones.

I believe many wedding photographers fall into the trap of shooting the same moments over and over again, in the same way, at every wedding. It's easy to do -- there is a sameness to weddings, after all -- and a mediocre photographer could probably make a living out of it.

One of the reasons Ryan is so great is that he consistently rises above that. This glimpse into his photographic thought process is helpful for photographers and brides alike:


Photos like these are why I am a “moment junkie.” This is a cheerful hug between the bride, her father, and her grandfather, right after Viviana and her grandfather had a featured dance. Is it envelope-pushing art? No. Is it a picture that will have meaning for Viviana for the rest of her life? I’d imagine so. Let’s not forget that weddings are about moments like these more than centerpieces.

Dress Developments X: Muslin Tuesday, March 9, 2010

So this evening I had my dress mockup with my wonderful seamstress. She's great and I already love working with her.

For tonight, I brought all my "bridal accoutrèments:" shoes, waist-cincher and bra. I wore my hair down, since that's how I plan to wear it for the wedding.

For the uninitiated, the custom dress process begins with extensive measurements, followed by a mock-up of the dress in a cheap fabric (like muslin). The muslin is fitted & adjusted, and then it's taken apart and used as a pattern for the "real" dress.

So in my previous dress post, I was torn between three sketches. Here's the one we picked:

The A-line/trumpet shaped dress with a wrap-style top, beaded trim at the neckline and in the back, and a beaded train.

Unfortunately, the design will have one major change; instead of cool beading at the bottom of the dress like I'd envisioned, we will have it showcased on the back center panel of the dress. I'm not sure why we made this change. I think it would have been too hard to have the beading on just the bottom, since the lace would have to be taken apart and applied by hand. Too expensive!

Anyway, here's the muslin:

Hmm.

There are a few things that will be different from the dress as shown:
- The bodice will have the wrap-style fabric attached to it. This is like, an "underbodice."
- The straps on top will be thinner more of a "sweetheart shape" in front.
- The V-neck will be an inch lower.
- The waistband will be wider, and beaded.
- The dress is supposed to flare out towards the bottom with the slip and petticoats under it, etc.
- The part of the back that is colored (see picture #3) will be beaded lace. 

Is this really my dress? I am not all that thrilled about it. It just looks like a big sack! A big, exceptionally-fitting-on-top sack! A sack of two colors!

I think it's interesting to see how I look in a long white dress. Also, I have heels on in this picture. I'm short waisted, so when I elongate my legs with heels and wear a natural waist, the dress looks empire-waisted! It just shows you how misleading it is to see these dresses on models and mannequins, when all of us are so different.

I guess it is starting to look like my drawing. However, I really want to change the back. I'm not sure how, but I think I'd like more drama & creativity than a big panel of beaded lace, however easy it might be to make. And I think the rounded train shape looks hopelessly dated. Back to the drawing board, sort of.

The Deadline in my Head Saturday, March 6, 2010

Every so often it seems like I have a "wedding week--" a super-productive whirlwind of a week where I try to get everything done before a certain (often arbitrary) deadline. This deadline doesn't correspond to any checklist or "recommended list of tasks" or anything like that. I look at the list of things to be done for the wedding, and decide that they'll be done by a certain date. Then I don't do anything.

But invariably, I wake up one dayand suddenly have a burning desire to do everything on that imaginary list. At once.

The last one of these occurred before Christmas. I was going out of town, and it would be the holidays, and that would mean New Years', and so I got it in my head all the things I wanted to do before we were "six months out." I remember a week full of appointments, bookings, and check writing. It was a blur. Could it have been done a week or two later? Sure! But I felt better, having met the deadline in my head.

So this week, I have three meetings with vendors, finish gathering addresses for the invites, finalize the guest list, set up hotel blocks, and schedule yet more appointments for Spring Break, which is week after next. Oh yeah, and I'm also working full time and going to physical therapy for that back injury.

Normally, committing myself to coming home late every night would be terribly exhausting and I would dread it. But for some reason, I'm totally energized! It's for the wedding! I'll meet the deadline in my head!

Oh, and the most exciting of all? On Tuesday, I'll see my dress for the first time! I can't wait to see it, and, of course, to share it with you! 

*This book is hilarious. I read it years ago and again when I got engaged. It's funny for many reasons, most notably, the bride's ever-growing checklist.

DIY and the Dead Fly Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Despite my insistence that I'm not a DIY type of girl, I find myself doing a lot of things for this wedding myself. Among my projects is the Martha Stewart flower pillow.

I love this pillow, and from the moment I saw it I knew I wanted one for my wedding! I have a little sewing experience and this seemed like a project I could do.

For inspiration, I studied carefully the diagrams and tutorial over at Martha Stewart, which boasts this beautiful example:

Then I also read the more explicit tutorial of Weddingbee blogger "Mrs. Perfume," whose mother helped her with this beautiful one:

I picked up some remnant fabric at Joann's to practice with, and set to work with my little sewing kit. Here was some of my inspiration while I worked:

Oh yes, Michael provides the perfect sewing music.

First, I cut out those ovals just as Martha described: ovals with straight sides. FH pointed out that they look a lot like my little mouse, so I put them side by side. Twins!

Then, I got my sewing kit and went to work, following all the directions. I cut my little ovals out, and instead of pinching them with wire, I stitched them through the middle.

Then I started sewing them together. But I noticed something odd. Where the directions said there should be no gaps, there were plenty. And this didn't look like a flower at all! It was a weird, floppy thing. I tossed it onto my keyboard and noticed that it looked.... like a dead fly!

FH came over to see, and when I described it to him he immediately began holding it through the air, buzzing around with it. Guys!

Anyway, I quickly saw what my problem was: the ovals were too straight and too long. They really need to be more like circles. Why doesn't Martha say this? Wait, who am I kidding?! It wouldn't be a Martha project without some frustration.

So I cut out some new ovals.

These were quite a bit smaller (and the flower tends to get smaller as you add petals to it), so it was harder to sew. Still, there was an instant improvement.

And for good measure, we checked -- it's cat-approved!