Wedding Wednesday: Tia & Glen Wednesday, December 30, 2009

This wedding inspires me for all sorts of reasons, one of which is that it's one of the very first weddings I saw online after I was engaged. I'd seen plenty of wedding photographs before getting engaged, but in those first few weeks, every wedding I looked at took on additional meaning. At the time, I had no idea which direction our wedding would take, where it would be held, or even what the possibilities were. But I knew there was something about this wedding that I loved.

Unfortunately, I barely remembered seeing this wedding, and when I looked for it again it disappeared as quickly as I had found it. I just remembered the super-romantic lighting in the ceremony, and the beautiful bride in her incredibly sexy dress. I was so lucky that Janie at The Bride's Cafe decided to revisit Tia & Glen's wedding one year later.

Sticking most in my mind was Tia & Glen's romantic ceremony:



Tia's dress is a good example of something I wouldn't wear myself, but I do want to look this beautiful in my gown:




It's not often you get a great shot of just how *sparkly* a dress is:


Cute!


Here's what's weird; I'd saved this cake to my favorites when we first got engaged, and I couldn't for the life of me find where I got the file! Now I know:


It's so funny; one year later, our wedding is turning out to look very similar to this one: simple, elegant, romantic. I wonder if these images planted themselves in my subconscious, and influenced me! No, I've been watching too much Twilight Zone.*

What images from your first days of being engaged have stuck with you?

* I watch the Twilight Zone marathon every year for New Years' Eve -- but this year, FH gave me the DVD set for Christmas... can you hear that theme song in your head?

You're Simply Invited

It's true our wedding isn't for several more months, but when there was a sale at the invitation store, combined with a promotion from the invitation company, I couldn't resist! So, we ordered the invitations a bit early and they're almost ready to be printed!

We're so excited to have chosen our invitations from Smock Papers, out of New York. The first time we saw them I knew they'd be perfect.

After going back & forth with wording, format, and layout, the proofs are here! I've had to block out some personal details, which really makes the invitations quite unattractive. Sorry! But trust me, they are beautiful.

If you're wondering why there's a website address in the lower right corner, we decided to do an online-only RSVP. We are very lucky that all of our guests - including parents & grandparents! - are relatively computer-savvy.

We were going to do a separate card with our website info, but I just couldn't justify the expense. Why pay to print a separate card with two lines on it? Since most of our guests are traveling, they'll need our website for more info anyway, and I personally don't like invitations with lots of little parts that are easy to lose. So we put it right on the invitation.

Etiquette guidelines say that you can put the website on the invitation only if it's for the express purpose of submitting a reply, so I think we're okay there. But honestly, once I had this idea in mind, there was no going back -- etiquette or not!

Click to enlarge:


Previously, I had written about my struggles with wording. Our original layout ended up being way too many words (what was I thinking?), and ruined the delicate spacing that led us to choose this invitation in the first place. So we simplified. No "together with our families," no "reception to follow," etc. I love the new version! What do you think? Can you spot any mistakes before we officially send it to the printers?

Engagement shoot redux. Monday, December 28, 2009

So we've recently come back from our engagement photoshoot in Chicago. Our photographers were every bit as wonderful in person as I anticipated, and it was fun to work with them. I loved the city, and we had a wonderful trip. We even stopped in Memphis on the way back and saw some museums.

I don't plan on using the photos for much; I hope to have a couple of shots for our wedding website, maybe one to frame in the house, one to display at the rehearsal dinner... and that's probably it. But coming away from the shoot I was worried about several things.

I never really found a coat to fit me. I kept ordering coats, but I have a lot of returns to process -- nothing worked. After we got to Chicago, a city where a stylish coat is practically mandatory, I found that there were many, many choices in my size -- but by the time I arrived, they were all gone. :( I ended up wearing my own camel colored pea coat, which only looks good open. But it was so cold that I had to close it, which means it looked weird.

I ended up having to wear my hat, which I purchased and didn't really intend to wear. A snowstorm that wasn't in the forecast ended up making things very cold and very wet -- and in several of the shots, I ended up wearing this little funny hat. I do not wear hats. I wish I had spent more time thinking about my accessories!

The aforementioned snow meant that we got very little pictures of my makeup & hair which I had worked hard on.

The good news: I was not worried about any of this during the shoot, which is great -- an uncomfortable subject ruins the shot, no matter how stylish! I imagine we got some good shots of us playing in the snow. We had a great time and FH insists that my little hat is adorable. (?)

Because I love blogging so much, and am so confident in my low readership, I'll post this picture of me, taken during our engagement shoot! While walking around, we spied this spectacular snowman and I asked FH to take a picture of it with his cameraphone. My students had just learned a song about snowmen, but most of them have never seen one! He even has a real carrot for a nose. This is down by the Chicago River, where it was super cold and windy!



There's nothing to do but wait & see... but I do wish I was better prepared. Oh well!

A trip, a photoshoot, and a deadline Thursday, December 17, 2009

It's almost time for us to leave for Chicago and I'm super excited. This week, I decided to tackle several things (maybe too many!).

I decided to meet with the last few vendors I can before the holidays. It has just hit me that our six month countdown is fast approaching. I figure many girls will be getting engaged over Christmas and New Years' (like I was) and will want to plan their summer weddings! I decided I'd better get on it and met this week with both a wedding planner and an officiant.

Also, and perhaps more immediately, I needed to figure out what makeup I'll be wearing. Lately my skin hasn't been looking so good; ever since I quit using Mary Kay skincare about two years ago, it just hasn't been as bright and has been full of blemishes. After a few disastrous trips to the MAC store and to Sephora, I finally settled on a combination that, in a few short days, has made my skin look better than it has in years.

My face was looking ashy in pictures, and it turns out that my super-dry skin wasn't being exfoliated enough. I also needed some photo-worthy foundation with a fair amount of coverage.

I wash with Dr. Susan Taylor's RX for Brown Skin, the "Bright & Even" wash. I tried it years ago, but it was a sample and I couldn't afford it then. When the Sephora consultant suggested exfoliation, I thought of it right away. The cleanser is about $25 and it's definitely worth it! I only use it in the morning; too much exfoliation can bother your skin.

The moisturizer in this line just isn't enough for me, so I use L'Occitane's Ultra Rich Face Cream, but only once, in the morning (because at night it's just too heavy to sleep in). FH remarked right away how much softer my face felt. How nice!

For makeup, I use the highly recommended combination of the Smashbox Photofinish Primer (colorless) and Makeup Forever's HD foundation in shade 175.

At night, I use a drugstore-brand facial wipes with a light moisturizer.

I could have added a concealer and some other stuff, but I'm just not worried about it -- I don't expect too many close-ups from our photographer, and to me it's more important to take care of what's under the makeup before worrying about anything else. At the very least, I am getting my skin in shape for the big day!

Other than the makeup drama, I'm just packing like crazy and looking forward to a great time in the very Windy City!

Wedding Wednesday: Laurel & Derrick Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wedding Wednesday is making a comeback! This week's inspiring wedding is one I've been looking at for a while, Jory Cordy's beautiful work with the wedding of Laurel & Derrick.

Laurel & Derrick were married in one of my favorite Dallas venues, the Apartment. It's a beautiful place that is a total blank slate -- you can do just about anything you want with it. They did a beautiful job! I love the black/white/neutral color palette, which gives this modern wedding a sense of timelessness.

But what will I wear? Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Ever since we hired our photographer, who is based in Chicago, I have really gotten more interested in the city. I've always loved big cities and the allure they hold; the convergence of people & culture... and I'm excited to visit a place I've only heard about in near-mythical terms.

Well, I'll get my chance -- in about three weeks, we're having our engagement pictures done - in Chicago! The area I live in (Dallas) is no slouch in the "city" department, but it will be so much fun to visit a new place. We'll be having our pictures done somewhere downtown, which I imagine will be decorated beautifully for the holidays. It might even be snowing!

Since FH has ties to the area (he went to grad school there) and I am just excited in general, we've decided to make a little vacation of it. We've planned a couple of activities to do and hope to hang around and see how the locals do it. So many things to plan: hotels to book, plane tickets, what to do with the cats while we're away, booking a pre-photoshoot hair appointment, figuring out WHAT TO WEAR.

I am someone who gets *very* cold, so being cute while freezing is just not on my agenda. I have to come up with some way to be stylish and photogenic while keeping warm. Since I'm in the market for a new coat anyway, I might as well incorporate it into my look!

I have a couple of inspirations. One is this lovely engagement-in-the-snow portrait (plenty more beautiful shots where these came from):

I love the white coat in the snow. Of course, part of the drama of this shot is the falling snow, which I have no idea whether we can replicate. But she looks nice. Here's another, more dramatic shot (different couple, different photographer):


Yesterday, I found this paparazzi photo from jezebel.com:


I like this look very much. While I don't think I want my fiance to attack my ear to buy a printed coat, I love the casual structure of this look, the way the scarf fits, the sleek gloves. It helps that I love her hair as well. This is a good example of how I'd like to look... but without the ear-biting guy, thanks.

So, now I need a coat. I love the look of a light color, because I know photographically I'll just disappear in black. I fell for this Old Navy coat. It was perfect: a good length, some waist definition, the little pockets, the fabric across the back... but when it arrived it wasn't nearly as flattering as it appeared.




The length was all wrong (it fell halfway between my calves & my ankles), the waist was too high, the sleeves didn't fit. I ordered two sizes; one was too small, and one was too big. Back to square one!

I found this military coat at DrJays.com, which bills itself as an "urban" clothing store:


Not sure if it's what I'm after, since it only comes in black. But I love the cut & the length. There's certainly plenty of structure there! I also love that Dr. Jays' plus size section features one model, and it tells you what size she's wearing in the picture. So helpful!

Then I found Avenue.com, which features Jessica London coats. Jackpot! My three favorites:



My only complaint is the length. I'm not nearly as tall as these models! Of these three, my favorite is the walking coat (shown in camel; I'd get gray), with the tweed coat a close second. I love those open necklines!

For accessories, I'm thinking some pretty drop earrings, a scarf in a beautiful face framing color (maybe a dark pink, to go with the gray coat and my brown-ish hair) & gloves. Add my jeans & a sweater, and I'll be set!

How much thought did you put into your engagement portrait outfit?

Coming Together... Saturday, November 28, 2009

I'm starting to get a definite vision for the wedding now, less than eight months away. (!) So, I decided to make another inspiration board. Here it is (click to enlarge)!


I've been leaning toward the classic black-tie look, with a light pink/neutral color scheme. I don't have a lot of details yet, mostly because (a) there aren't going to be too many of them and (b) I haven't picked them yet! But here's an overall look. I imagine it will be honed down quite a bit between now and the big day! You might recognize the man in the tuxedo from my post on menswear the other day.


Credits:
Place setting/table flowers by Cherie Photo (Amy & Sean).
Bridal bouquet and aisle flowers from D Weddings, photo by Steven Karlisch (Lillian & Charles).
Earrings by Tejani, style B0877.
Small floral arrangement by Karen Tran.
Image of Darcy Miller Nussbaum at her wedding from Martha Stewart Weddings, photo by Holger Thoss (Darcy & Andy).
Invitations from Smock Papers (style Vettore).
Place cards from Martha Stewart Weddings, photo by Dan Loh (Priya & Ralph).
Dress from Priscilla of Boston, style 4111.
Man in tuxedo from David Wittig (Dena & Gavin).
Image of engagement set from the internet.

First "Engaged" Holidays Friday, November 27, 2009

It's the holidays! Last year at this time, I was minding my own business, quietly wondering if my boyfriend was "the one," enjoying the holiday season, but with one eye on all those ubiquitous diamond commercials!

What a difference a year makes! Here we are, with entirely new reasons to be thankful this year... and the realization that next year at this time, we'll be married! How exciting.

I am truly blessed to be marrying into a family that is so nice and loving and has embraced me. This week, I went shopping with FMIL and she said she needed another pie to complete her Thanksgiving meal. I love to bake and was planning to bring something anyway, so I offered. I ended up making a pecan pie -- the first time ever!

When I was a kid, I baked apple pies nearly every year (starting when I was like 10 or so) and I generally love to bake. So while not a novice to pies in general, I was new to this one. I warned FMIL of my inexperience, and she gave me a bag of pecans and said, "See what happens!" So I did.

I was initially stressed out about it, since I didn't want to use corn syrup and I couldn't find too many recipes without it. But when I got to Whole Foods, my initial plan to use a combination of maple syrup & honey was thwarted by high prices, and I found some brown rice syrup instead. The recipe I ended up using was from the Better Homes & Gardens cookbook, the same one my mother cooked from all those years.

The pie turned out perfect: despite a Kitchenaid mishap (I must remember to choose an attachment that reaches all the way to the bottom of the bowl) and some inexperience, the pie was a big hit and tasted great! Here it is, ready to go to Grandma's house:

I also made a breakfast quiche for FH & I, and some delicious Williams-Sonoma cranberry squares (an unpublished recipe found only in their store, apparently).

Since I am still adjusting to FH's house, I wasn't moving as quickly as I normally would; I generally felt kind of out of place and like I didn't have room to cook and couldn't find anything. I didn't feel too much pressure to make everything perfect until Thanksgiving morning, when mishap after mishap threatened to ruin my baking projects.

In an extremely rare moment of 1950s-era traditionalism, I said to him, "What if I am not a very good wife in the kitchen, and I keep my husband & kids hungry and waiting for food that's not very good?" And he says, "Since when are you responsible for all the food in the house?" Good point. Don't you just love modern feminist men?

Menswear Redux Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My poor FH has never worn a tuxedo. "What did you wear to your 1st wedding?" "It was casual," he says. "Well, what did you wear to prom?" He said, "Well, I can't remember the prom!" What can I say to that?

But luckily, he is more than willing to wear a beautiful suit for our wedding! We've decided to try and purchase the suit if we can, so he can wear it again. A few weekends ago, we went shopping for the first time, and were able to narrow some things down. Also helpful was Style Me Pretty's five part series on menswear (linked below).

It seems there are endless choices; size of lapel, what type of shirt to wear, etc. etc. How is it that there can be so many choices, when they all end up looking mostly the same?

Anyway, we narrowed it down to a nice classic black suit, peak lapels, and a nice tie instead of the standard bow-tie look. I was prepared for another round of shopping, when last night I was trolling through my RSS and found this post from photographer David Wittig.

FH looks over my shoulder at the handsome couple, and points to the groom. "Hey isn't that kind of what we were looking at? Is that a tuxedo?" And I said yes.



"Hey, that looks nice. I like it," he says. And just like that, it was done. Guys are so easy!

In case your fiancé isn't quite as easygoing as mine, here are the links to Style Me Pretty's super-helpful series for men in five parts:
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5

Money Matters in Marriage, pt. 2 Friday, November 20, 2009

The second article, "Five Money Woes That Can Trouble a Marriage," is more about the unexpected things that can get you down. When a couple is facing the next 40+ years of their lives together, it's impossible to predict everything and pre-determine your answers to things. After all, many of the things that financially devastate us are also emotionally wrenching, and we can't say with certainty how we'd react in the future.

I think this one is more about finding out your responses to crises, and your approach to catastrophe, and a reminder to deal with things as a couple, as a team; and of course, everyone should have a nest egg.

Continuing this theme was last Thursday's front page feature, the story of the Bachmuth family, whose young daughter is literally pulling her hair out from the stress Mr. Bachmuth's job loss has imposed on his whole family. Particularly interesting were the issues of traditional family/gender/breadwinner roles, and how a shift in those roles can be devastating (or not).

Many of the comments following the article are judgmental (okay, the couple's argument about firing the cleaning lady does sound a little out of touch), but the audio slide show puts things into perspective. From the pictures & audio, I saw a couple struggling with something they never thought would happen to them, and they are handling it the best they know how.

Do I think I'd react differently to that financial situation? Absolutely; I see a lot of issues here that seem bigger than the current economic crisis. But I can't judge. Who knows what marriage will bring? All we can do is promise to work through it -- together.

*Image of the Bachmuth family by Michael Stravato for the New York Times.

Money Matters in Marriage, pt. 1 Friday, November 13, 2009

Like most people, I don't like talking about finances, but I promised myself I'd spend as much energy preparing for the wedding as I would preparing for the marriage... so I try to confront these potentially uncomfortable issues when I get a chance.

The New York Times has published several articles on couples' finances in the past two weeks.

The articles, by Ron Lieber, are very helpful, if brief, and are in two parts (actually three, but more on that in a minute). The first one, "Four Talks About Money to Have Before Marriage," outlines the ways in which marital finances are impacted by our upbringing, our expectations, our attitudes toward money, and other habits.

When it comes to this, I know I'm definitely not perfect when it comes to finances. I tend to hyper-manage my money, sometimes even programming my browser's home screen to go to my bank's webpage so I can remind myself of what I spend. Not surprisingly, I'm also a spreadsheet junkie. :)

This means, though, that I tend to over-budget, which leaves little room for surprises, and that I worry about money when sometimes I don't need to. I also attach guilt to my spending, which means I'm extremely frugal for a while and might blow it later. I can trace all this to my childhood, which was marked by economic ups & downs, and my fear of repeating my late father's money management mistakes.

But also, my father's death really was a catalyst for me thinking about money; I was 20, so it would have happened close to that age anyway, I guess. But most vivid in my memory are all the times my father "had to work," and everything he missed as a result (we had an especially poignant conversation when I left for college, where he confessed that he felt he didn't really know me, because he'd missed so much). Our relationship definitely suffered because of that, as did his marriage to my mom.

And then he was gone, and it didn't matter at all how much he had to work. And all those material things he'd amassed; they were still here, and he wasn't, and they didn't matter much either.

I decided then that for my life, for myself, security would always be more important than wealth. I don't mind driving a 10 year old car if I have the means to maintain it. Our house doesn't have to be the biggest, but if it's safe and clean and comfortable and everything works, I'll be happy. There are more important things.

Fortunately, my fiancé's approach to money wasn't shaped by anything nearly as traumatic. He had a more consistent upbringing, and doesn't feel guilty for the occasional splurge or two. He isn't near as spreadsheet-happy as I am, so he leaves that to me -- and I don't mind a bit!

Anyway, the fiancé and I had certainly discussed these issues, but these things repeatedly come up in a marriage, and the article helped facilitate another good conversation.

Do you plan to talk to your FH/FW about finances? Do you like these kinds of discussions?

Worth a thousand (more) words Monday, November 9, 2009

This weekend, after placing my invitation order, I was so pleased to have something done so early. For a July wedding, I wouldn't need to order them until January or February, and mail them at the end of April. But the company is giving a discount to orders placed before the end of the year, so I was planning to order them in a month. Then, the invitation shop had a promotion for an additional discount this week, so there you go!

The lovely invitations are probably the only thing I've been 100% consistent about throughout this entire wedding planning process. The wording should be simple and formal. Easy, right? I arrived at the shop with all the information in tow (typed up, no less!) and today I got the call.

They want to change my invitation wording because it is improper!

Specifically, they want to change my "half past five" to "half after five" and we disagree about the usage of "two thousand ten" vs. "two thousand and ten." (They prefer the latter, by the way.) All my research says that both are acceptable, but it seems that "half after" and "two thousand and ten" are most likely related to British usage and are therefore more formal.

Two things at work here. First of all, I am having a formal wedding, which requires a formal invitation with formal wording. So I get that this is the time to be "correct."

But I wonder if these etiquette rules might just be too obscure for me. Who IN THE WORLD says "half after five"? I've never seen it; every wedding invitation I've seen says "half past." Every invitation also says "two thousand and ten" and since it looks better in print, I might concede that one. I might even write "half after" for the time... but I can just imagine my family calling up saying, "When is the wedding?"

On the other hand, just because large swaths of people don't understand an etiquette rule doesn't mean it's invalid.

We'll see. At this point, the invitation reads:

Together with their families
[Bride] and [Groom]
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
[Day] the [nth] of July
two thousand and ten
at half after (?) five in the evening
[Name of place]
[City, State]
Reception to follow

[in the lower right hand corner]:
R.s.v.p. before [Month] [Date]
[website address]

I had originally written, "Please r.s.v.p. by [date], but realized that, while in English, "to r.s.v.p." is a verb or a noun, it's actually a phrase that already contains the word please (Respondez, s'il-vous plait). But most people will read it as a verb, so...

Honestly, I'm surprised that I care so much. But as someone who loves to write and is interested in what words mean to different people, this is actually kind of fascinating.

Also, I think it's funny how wedding invitations, like so many aspects of the wedding itself, bring out these issues of class and style. I think many wedding disputes we have now are the result of being in different classes, and of our culture being in sort of a transitional period with different cultures & class systems. I mean, wouldn't this be easier (but so much more boring!) if every member of one family was in the same social class (and thus, had the same expectations for your wedding)? But, thankfully, that hardly relates to any Americans anymore. Interesting.

*The photo is of Emily Post, who frightens me a little.

Verily, Vera Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm not quite a die-hard fan of Vera Wang's wedding dresses, but I am a fan of Vera herself. I remember when the Lifetime channel was getting into the wedding-tv craze, they would air a biography of her every so often, and I watched it nearly every time it was on.

When I heard her describe her latest line on the Martha Stewart Show "wedding" episode, I thought it seemed uninspired. What bride wants to look like her dress just came from the washing machine??

But when it comes to individual dresses and ideas, Vera's thought process is so interesting. The other day, yet another celebrity was married in a custom Vera. Ivanka Trump's beautiful dress got lots of people thinking twice about how beautiful & sexy one can be... without showing everything! Ivanka is pictured below, with her dress inspiration, Princess Grace.

A small but vocal number of brides (and photographers, and seamstresses, I'm sure) have been lamenting the recent strapless craze, and just today Vera reported that she is "tired" of strapless dresses. Amen! I can't *wait* for this trend to move along, and for sleeves (or, coverage in general) to be seen as a beautiful option instead of being relegated to the un-sexy, the dowdy, the über-traditional.

Of course, Ivanka is a recent convert to Orthodox Judaism, and presumably decided on sleeves for this reason. But what if that wasn't the reason? Currently, several of the articles describing her dress are quick to make the excuse, almost as if to say, "Well, she could have been sexy, but her religion got in the way."

Yes, we liberated women don't need to trumpet our chastity down the aisle. But wouldn't it be even more progressive if we acknowledged the complexity of both? That one doesn't have to choose, that you can be both sexy and tasteful at once, that maybe your sexiness lies in your decision to be tasteful? That maybe there are other things to be on your wedding day besides sexy?

In this video, Vera talks through her process for Ivanka's dress, and makes some interesting points regarding chastity, class, and modesty in wedding dresses. She also throws out the idea that not too long ago, it would never have been proper for a woman of a higher class to wear a revealing dress. Imagine that!

Just a little backwards Monday, October 26, 2009

The Secret Sociologist offers a decent dissection of Justice Keith Bardwell's interracial marriage comments from last week.

It's no fun... Saturday, October 24, 2009

It's no fun being sick! Sorry for the lack of posts. Pink Broom will return shortly.

DIY + HTML + CSS... Saturday, October 17, 2009

I'm not much into DIY stuff... at least not super crafty things like my invites, or making paper balls or sewing a dress. (I did have a plan to DIY the flowers... FH talked me out of that!) I was, however, dead-set on building my own wedding webpage.

I already have a low-maintenance website for my photography, and I just couldn't justify paying for a website when I already pay $100+ every year to a hosting company, which allows me to host an unlimited number of URLs. So, I paid $10 for our domain name, and got to work.

Halfway through our engagement, I finally have a wedding page I almost like. But it's taken me 6 months to do what someone else could have done in a few hours! The problem is that my coding skills, where 1 is inserting hyperlinks and 10 is coding a webpage from scratch, are about at level 5. So that's an issue. The other is that I don't have any major web-building software (Dreamweaver, Flash, etc.), so I'm limited to something I can install for free through my webhost.

I started out with a wordpress page, and I hated it right from the start. A wedding webpage should store lots of information, be simple to navigate, and relatively static (I don't think the front page should be changing all the time, for instance). I didn't like the blog-looking format. Also, I couldn't find any templates that were "wedding-y" enough. I worked on the page for a while and left it alone.

About a week ago, I decided that it wasn't enough and threw the whole thing out. In addition to wordpress, my hosting company has an easy 1-click install of Joomla, so I used that and, after a bunch of tutorials & Google searches, I've learned it. I've got the hang of it now, and I like the page. Click here to see the template I used.

It's a work in progress. I'm very proud of myself for adding a favicon. (!) Also, I'm going to create a registration-only portion of the site for the immediate family & bridal party, so they can have access to some extra information that I'd rather keep a surprise for the rest of our guests. I know Joomla has a bunch of form plug-ins, but we're just using a Google spreadsheet for our online-only RSVP.

I know the blogging bridal community has developers & coders far more talented than I. Anyone out there build your own page? How did you do it?

Photo from flickr user RosePhotosEtc.

Let the music play.... Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Well, now that the photographer debacle has, hopefully, been put behind us, FH cheerfully asked me, "What's the next step?" The truth is, at this point, there are MANY next steps, but the one that's got my attention lately is our music choice.

In addition to being a photographer, I'm a music teacher, so this one is another high-priority item for me. I'm much less stressed about it, though, because it just is something that isn't as timeless and permanent as the wedding photographs were. So I'd like to have a little fun with things. In fact, I'd hire college students if I could, but the wedding is in the summer and who knows where they'll be!

For the ceremony, I'm thinking of a sort of classic/romantic vibe. Our ceremony room has a pretty swirly pattern on the carpet, pretty, gold chandeliers, gold-ish chiavari chairs, and is decorated in neutral colors. I have some beautiful floral ideas, too. One whole wall is windows, and the ceremony will be in the evening (so, nice light from an almost-sunset? I hope?). For this, I'm thinking of something like a string quartet or a harpist. My cousin, an orchestra teacher, has offered to play violin, so I'd definitely like to incorporate that somehow. It would also be special to me since she played at my mom's wedding about 5 years ago.

I was wondering if the harp music wouldn't be too insubstantial or somehow less "formal" than a quartet. I still don't know about that, but it's sure beautiful! In doing my youtube research, I found this video of a beautiful harpist (playing while the birds sing!).

For cocktail hour, I got the idea of having a nice, classic, jazz trio: piano, drums, and string bass. Plus, one of the sticking points with this venue is that it has a grand piano in our reception room! How could I not utilize that?! People will mix & mingle, drinks will be served, hors d'ouevres will be passed, people will be finding their placecards and being seated. I just thought it would be great to get the party started with some live music, and jazz is pretty neutral. I've found a great Brazilian trio here in the Dallas area, and they seem wonderful and just perfect for us. Problem is, I'm not sure if they're in our budget, and I just don't care enough to do a whole bunch of spreadsheet-shuffling at the moment. I'm tired of spending money! We'll see how this goes.

And for the reception, we already have a DJ in place. Can't wait to work with him! He's just sent me an email in advance of our meeting after the holidays. He says that I need to start working on my must play/do-not-play lists. Seems a little overwhelming.

I suppose my biggest concern is that we have enough music to keep the party going. I really would love for people to have a great time, and dance all night long!

Photo from flickr user "...Steve".

Playing the Wedding Card Saturday, October 10, 2009

I was trying to pay one of my vendors, and my card was declined. Oh no! The result of poor money management? Cutting it too close between a deposit and a payout?

Nope (well, at least not this time)!

Turns out I have a daily "transaction limit" on the card. Who knew? So, I called the bank... best to speak to them and make sure they knew I wasn't the victim of some scam. As I spoke to them, they wanted to know why I needed the limit increased, and I told them that I'm planning a wedding and trying to make deposits.

As I said this, the lady on the phone is *so* excited for me. "Congratulations!" she says, and puts the limit increase through immediately. "Weddings are so exciting! I hope you have a wonderful day!" I thought it was very sweet, especially since her enthusiasm and sincerity came through, even over the phone.

Inadvertently, I'd played the "wedding" card, and received excellent customer service as a result. Unfair? Perhaps. I mean, if I'd been trying to appeal to her good will to get "one up" over some other customer, like cutting in line or something, I suppose. But I think of all those wedding advice columns, that instruct brides & grooms to make sure the hotel & restaurant staff know that you're on your honeymoon. Sometimes you'll get a perk, sometimes not. I don't think there's any harm in appealing to people's natural sense of good will.

Have you played the wedding card? How did it work out?


Photo from Flickr user !efatima

Nine Months! Thursday, October 8, 2009

This week marks nine months until the wedding. It also means I am halfway through our engagement.

Holy moly.

I realize many people successfully plan their weddings in a lot less than 9 months, but for me, it's a milestone; not only is it the halfway point, but it's about the time that I've started to look more closely at our wedding as something more than some abstract day in the future.

When I'd speak with vendors, especially early on, it was just impossible for me to imagine the actual wedding. I knew I wanted to marry FH, sure. And I knew I wanted our family & friends there, and that I wanted things to be beautiful and interesting and for everyone to be happy. But I think that's all I knew, and all I needed to know. After all, isn't it more important to focus on the big picture of what a marriage and wedding means?

My abstract thinking was helpful in every instance but one, but I'm glad for my little photographer crisis. I could finally picture this wedding as something real, and relate it to me personally, and start to imagine myself as a bride. Maybe it's related to FH and I having a relatively short courtship, or maybe it's because for so many years I thought I'd only be relegated to taking pictures of brides, and not being one. Who knows? But it's here now, and there's no denying it.

In the next 3 months, I'd like to:
- Decide on: Floral/table décor, a dress (!)
- Book: Portrait photographer, wedding planner, officiant, ceremony & cocktail hour musicians
- Initial meetings with planner & DJ
- Finish our website
- Plan/book our upcoming trip (see below)

Let's see... what have I done so far?
- Finished: Budget, timeline, guest list.
- Booked: Venue/caterer, photographer, DJ, florist.
- Found: Fabric store/seamstress (for the dress!), wedding planner
- Purchased: Bridal jewelry.

And just when it seems that we've checked off another item, we end up adding another one. With the addition of our new photographers, who are out of state, we need to travel to have our engagement session done. We thought about having them visit us here in Dallas, but it seemed prohibitive for a 2 hour photoshoot. As it turns out, FH has some friends in their area, and for the same amount we could go visit a new (to me, anyway) city and have some great pictures done.

Can anyone recommend any must-sees in Chicago?


Previous "countdown" posts

In Front of My Face Sunday, October 4, 2009

So finding a photogapher became a full time job. I started scouring websites, posting in message boards, looking for recommendations. I had one "dream photographer" in the DFW area, but I thought he was way too expensive. Once I had my unfortunate epiphany, I found a way to afford him... but by then he was booked. So, back to the drawing board.

And what kind of wedding will we be having? I asked myself this repeatedly as Jessica Claire's words rang in my head.

• Style: I imagine our wedding to be timeless & classic. We're not using a lot of "trendy" ideas or superfluous stuff. Okay, that's easy.
• We are not a particularly "wacky" couple... so someone who focuses on capturing wild and unexpected moments probably isn't for us.
  
• Time of day & location: Well, it's Dallas in the summer, so our wedding is indoors. This would eliminate anyone who does primarily outdoor, sunset, California-style weddings (or those featured on the wedding blogs lately... when are they going to stop with all the outdoor weddings!).
  

What do my instincts say? I realized that I react most to beautiful, classic images taken with film; black & white images capturing emotion, moments with family & friends, private moments between couples, fine art-style detail shots of dresses and veils and other details.

I came up with a rating system that helped me sort based on personality, technical know-how, customer service, and a few other things. But pretty quickly it came down to one thing: feeling.

I had to see images so good that I wanted to go back to them again & again. They had to be good enough for me to feel something every single time, to say, "Oh, how cute!" instead of "nice lighting." An absence of gimmicks, overprocessing, or images that were technically brilliant but lifeless. The images needed to tell the story of the day and give me a sense of who the couple is, and make me react, again and again.

But who? Whose images do I keep looking at? And it turns out the answer was right in front of me. There's a blog I subscribe to that has beautiful images. Every time this photographer posts a new wedding, I always take time out to stop and look at the slideshow, or at the pictures, or whatever. I consistently loved them. But I never thought of him for our wedding. He's too far away! Too expensive! And besides, he's like a celebrity to me, someone whose work I've studied and loved for two years or so.

Eventually, I got over myself and dared to click over to his pricing page. Hey, it was in our budget! And he's not as far away as I thought! I sent an inquiry for availability, and while I waited, I looked at the images repeatedly and in-depth. It seemed perfect. Plus, his artistic style meant that FH was on board, too.

Two days later, I got word -- he's available! The past week has been spent with emails back & forth, spreadsheet calculations, telephone consultations, and finally, we submitted our package request and are waiting for the final contract. Success!

I'll make a formal announcement and introduction when it gets closer to the wedding. I can't wait! I can't believe the answer was in front of me the whole time!

Photographers, Seeking Same Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Knowing that I was looking at photographers in a different way than most brides, I decided to quit looking at endless websites & photographers' blogs and just think about what I wanted from this particular vendor. And who better to listen to than someone who's already faced this dilemma?

Wedding photographers! And this week, I've been listening more closely than ever. As I continue with this drama (not much happening at the moment, just in between meetings & phone calls, and evaluating portfolios), here's what's been ringing in my head:

"I don't believe [that] every photographer (or any photographer) is the best at everything. I think that certain people are the best at specific things, and Jose [Villa] is the best at the particular kind of wedding that Jeff and I are going to be having." - Jessica Claire

Hmm. What kind of wedding are we having? Better answer this one, quick.

"My priorities for a wedding photographer were [...] that I be able to look at the wedding photos and know undoubtedly that he/she did the best job with our day that could be done..." - Jessica Claire

No pressure, right??

"On my wedding day itself, I want the day to just unfold organically and I want to remember the story and all of the little stories that make up the big story. I want to see moments in my pictures that maybe I wasn’t even present for and I want to be able to relive the way the day felt. So, knowing this I knew that I wanted to go with someone who is a photojournalist…someone who can tell a story with an image…someone who can create images that say more than what is at first obvious to the viewer. Images that make you want to look a little deeper and stare a little longer." - Justine Ungaro

This one I'd already considered... one of my long-standing marks of a good photographer is that his/her images make me cry, even when I don't know the people in them.

I needed to do some soul-searching, think long & hard about how I want our wedding to be remembered, and fast.

*Photo of Justine Ungaro on her wedding day by Greg Gibson

First Bout of Wedding Anguish Monday, September 28, 2009

Hey, what's a blog without a little drama, right? Well, for the past week, I've had plenty of internal drama.

So I'm a photographer, and I've been informally studying photography for years. For the past two, I've been seriously into wedding photography. If there's a top name out there, I know it.

But since I can't afford those top names, I started looking for a local & affordable photographer the minute I got engaged. After seven months, I found one. I met him, he was nice, and I booked him.

Sure, there were some shots that needed better lighting. Sure, I would need to process some of the shots. And maybe some of them should have been in black & white. But it's okay. He's been in lots of magazines. He's world class. He gets good reviews! And besides, I don't need any of those high-class photographers. What would they do with someone like me, anyway?

This conversation went on in my head for weeks. The truth is, for some strange reason, I was totally intimidated by the idea of hiring one of the best. They kind of scared me. And I was somehow unable to fully admit how incredibly important photography is to me. I just didn't want to face up to it -- the wedding is one event, over in one day, and every decision counts. Especially this one.

Once the original photog cashed my check, it really hit the fan. I started seeing his blog posts, and the photography has actually gotten worse. Technical issues galore, allowing strange people to second-shoot... it was awful. Finally, after one weekend looking at wedding photog's sites and thinking, "Wow, I'll never get a shot like that from _____," it was time to make a choice.

And I've decided to fire my photographer. I feel awful... we'll be walking away from our 25% deposit (and I hope we don't owe anymore), and I feel terrible that my lack of self-esteem and poor judgment led to such a money- and time-wasting decision. But at least it's not at the expense of my wedding photos.

I also want to add that this guy is a wonderful photographer, for many happy clients a year. But just not me. I've realized that I want a style of photography that he just doesn't offer, and my technical picky-ness isn't a reflection of his talent. But in order for me to be happy, I have to move in a different direction.

Making that decision gave me the most peace I've felt in weeks.

And now we start again...!

The dress: Which fabric? Friday, September 18, 2009

Now that I've chosen my dress, I need to figure out what fabric to use. As mentioned, I'm partial to silk dupioni, but I'm not sure if it needs something heavier. While studying fabrics, I found it absolutely fascinating to see how silk is made. I remember a couple years ago watching a documentary about it, and I found this cool how-to with pictures and explanations.

I also found this *wonderful* glossary from, of all places, J. Crew.

Our cotton cady comes from a premier Japanese mill. This fabric has a compact weave and a crisp cotton hand, making it ideal for structured silhouettes that fit the body perfectly without drape. Our designers love the juxtaposition of simple cotton with a very elegant shimmer.

Cotton organdy: an ethereal, semi-sheer fabric with a stiff, crisp finish that seems to float on air. Ours is covered with gently swaying, embroidered flowers and comes from the same Japanese house that makes our very best eyelet laces.

Our signature cotton, also known as Liberty Tana lawn (named after Lake Tana in Sudan where the cotton was originally grown), comes from Liberty Art Fabric—legendary for their distinctive textiles and prints. It's a soft, lightweight, woven cotton, combed with a crisp finish and boasting a graceful drape.

Pronounced "tool" and well-known as the stuff ballerina tutus and wedding veils are made of, we use it as a crinoline in our Whitney dress to give the skirt a dramatic silhouette. The word "tulle" comes from the French city of that name, but it applies to hexagonal mesh fabric no matter where it's made.

A very refined, utterly elegant fabric with a cool, dry hand. We searched far and wide for an airy, angelic fabric like this and finally found it at an Italian mill with a sterling reputation for fine linens.

This softly rippled fabric is silk-cotton cloqué with a "hammered" finish and a full-bodied drape. It's specially treated during the weaving process for a slightly crisp handfeel and a very festive rustle.

Also known as crepe-backed satin, it's a designer's dream because either side of this splendid fabric can be used as the face. The contrast of matte crepe and shiny satin in the same design, coupled with a luxurious drape, is simply spectacular.

Crinkle silk chiffon lends an ethereal quality to party dresses and gowns. Its whisper-light beauty and subtle texture adds a touch of dimension to basic chiffon. It drapes beautifully, and takes dyes and prints particularly well.

The marriage of smooth silk and crisp cotton creates a lightweight, diaphanous fabric with a subtle shine and a soft handfeel. We think it's just perfect for a wedding dress.

Dupioni is a lustrous silk characterized by a quiet sheen and nubby texture. Woven in India, dupioni takes dye beautifully and thus, is often shown in a wide range of rich colors. Its crisp hand makes it a popular choice for dresses as it lends subtle structure and elegant drape.

A four-ply, crisp organza with a tight weave. We get ours from a very famous Italian mill. It's a heavier fabric with an even texture and a luxurious matte finish.

A heavier, elaborately woven fabric that combines several textures into one material. It's a subtle way to wear a pattern, making it a perfectly unexpected option for a wedding gown.

The ultimate in elegance with a luxurious feel and a brilliantly lustrous shimmer. This rich, substantial fabric has a crisp, firm texture with raised cords, making it ideal for structured silhouettes that exude sophistication and drama.

An ultra-luxurious, very special fabric usually reserved for royal weddings and haute couture. This midweight Italian silk is so rare that we have only a few limited gowns available.

Lightweight and lustrous, it's woven the same way the Persians made silk taftah five-hundred years ago: with very fine, almost invisible ribs that make a festive rustle whenever you move.

Silk tricotine is a triple-ply matte fabric with a twilled weave and a slight sheen. Cut on the bias, it has a heavy drape with a beautiful, flowing movement. It's substantial enough to shape itself to the body without cling.

The smoothest silk with a touch of wool, lending a very sumptuous hand to the fabric. Silk wool is known for taking color beautifully and imparting a rich, deep lustre.

Slub silk was historically used for "high court" gowns because of its luxurious handfeel. The subtle, uneven texture of the fabric is due to the weaving of double strands of silk. We love the rich look and feel of it for our special occasion dresses.