Been There, Done That: Brides' Advice Thursday, April 30, 2009

I love that photographer Samantha Warren asks her clients to offer advice to future brides. In her column "Bride's Side," Warren has collected quotes & interviews from brides on what they'd do differently. Notable quotes:

Detail that was worth it: The placement settings were a huge hit! Female guests found their table by picking up a paper Eiffel Tower with their name on a heart at the top. The guys were thrilled with the silver, black, blue, or white matchbox cars that bore their names. They were like little boys when describing the car they received, or traded for, or even stole from a friend at their table: “I'm not a PT Cruiser, I'm a '69 GTO!” --Andrea & Cory, 2/14/09


What I wish someone had told me about getting married was that you will feel every emotion possible, from feeling overjoyed to overwhelmed, to excited to fed up! This comes from something else that I didn’t realize—that everyone has an opinion about what you should do, but if you are lucky they will help you stay true to what really is important to you. While it is very important to do what makes you happy, please do not ignore logic! --Diana & Jason, 6/20/08

Prepare for the rehearsal dinner well in advance. Giving yourself plenty of time to plan your ceremony and reception is obvious - giving yourself plenty of time to select the right gifts, wrap them and write heartfelt cards for your closest friends and family is much easier to overlook. I was 30 minutes late for our rehearsal dinner because time ran out and ended up writing all the thank you notes when we returned from the rehearsal. I would not recommend this strategy. --Stephanie & Bryan, 5/10/08

Sometimes, the best moments are ones you didn't see coming. At our wedding, we requested a specific last song that had meaning to us. In the middle of that song, all of our guests gathered around, tears flowing and there was a spontaneous, emotional group hug. Jimmy and I did not see it coming (could never have planned that) and we still get teary thinking about it; that song gives us chills now and is extra special to us. It is our favorite moment of the day. --Kristina & Jimmy, 5/24/08

Wedding Wednesday: Stephanie & Noel Wednesday, April 29, 2009

This week's featured wedding was beautifully photographed last September by the incomparable Susan Stripling. Stephanie & Noel's wedding is beautiful for all kinds of reasons, but I have to admit--I love this wedding for its beauty and for the photography! I can't help it, I'm a visual girl. :)

Negotiations Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My fiancé & I decided to book our venue, which we absolutely love. But we went to sign the contract and ran up against a few obstacles...

- The contract is an old one, and we have to write in all the new stuff. I know it's not a big deal and handwritten additions to a contract are still binding, but it bugs me anyway.
- They are really pushing for us to have an "unlimited bar package," and to me that means, "Please let us give you a bill of an undetermined amount!" I'd rather have a set allotment for drinks, but I can't figure out the logistics of this.
- There's nothing about clean-up in the contract. And, we forgot to ask about it during the meeting--oops.
- We forgot to ask if the prices are locked-in. What if the price of fish or chicken goes up, will we be charged?
- We need more time. 4 hours for ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner & dancing isn't enough.
- We thought we could rent the place for the evening, but we realized it doesn't include having the place free all day for vendor set-up. We'll now be paying for all day. (!)

I'm going to have my fiancé take care of this, because I can be kind of a hard-ass when negotiating. He, on the other hand, talks to people nicely and makes his requests seem so perfectly reasonable. A good skill to have!

Yes! More from Bershan & David's Wedding Monday, April 27, 2009

I love it when a bride takes something traditional and steps it up a little--this is certainly the case with Bershan & David's wedding! My most favorite creative element was the ceremony arbor--I've never seen anything like it. Enjoy!

I love Bershan's dress. It's not something I'd pick for myself, but without even knowing Bershan I'd say it seems to fit her personality. At the end of the night, she changed into another beautiful gown:

All photos, of course, by the amazing Justine Ungaro. Check her blog to see more of Bershan & David, and see all the movers & shakers present at their wedding!

Wedding Wednesday: Bershan & David Wednesday, April 22, 2009

One of the coolest things about being a bride *and* a photographer is getting a head start looking at so many beautiful wedding images. I couldn't wait to feature the recent wedding of Bershan & David, photographed by one of my favorite photographers, Justine Ungaro (also of unbride.com).

Bershan is a beautiful bride. She's wearing an *incredible* dress! The details & beading are astonishing. I love her makeup, and she & David make a lovely couple. I especially love the excitement on David's face upon seeing his bride for the first time.

Mrs. Ungaro isn't finished posting this wedding yet, so check her blog for updates. On to the images:

You're Invited Monday, April 20, 2009

Continuing with the "follow my instincts" approach to wedding planning, I believe my fiancé and I have chosen our invitations!

I've seen hundreds of invites online and spent some time with a friend last weekend looking at books. Until now, I hadn't seen any I truly loved. I don't like the trends with little strange motifs everywhere, and I certainly don't want to pay to have something "flat-printed" when it looks identical to something I could do with some creativity and my HP inkjet.

So just for fun, my fiancé and I stopped in at Paper & Chocolate, surely one of the prettiest stores in Dallas. They do wedding invites, and we spent a while looking at books. David picked a letterpress book, and voila! we found our invites. It was love at first sight! Check it out (click to see it customized many different ways):



I cannot explain how I felt to see this invitation, except to know that it was *the one*! I never even allowed myself to dream of letterpress, but David's advanced degree is in printmaking, so that gives us a great excuse. Plus, it was great to see him so excited about the process.

These invites are truly a work of art. They're printed on "ecologically sound" (I'll admit, my fiancé cares way more about this than I do) bamboo paper which is very thick and feels like cotton. When I saw this invite in person, I couldn't help but touch the paper over & over again. Of course, we'd change the colors (light pink, of course!) and perhaps the font. But we couldn't be happier.

I've only seen a few designs I even wanted to look at twice, and my mother pointed out that this invitation is similar to the few I've shown her. I didn't even realize that! There's something to be said for following your instincts!

Inspiration! Saturday, April 18, 2009

I'm one of those people who loves to do research, as long as it's about a subject I like. Well, I like weddings! There are SO many books out there, but I have some favorites:

So far I have...

Michelle Rago’s Signature Weddings

Wedding Flowers by Paula Pryke

Some books I’d like…

Fête: The Wedding Experience by Jung Lee

Colin Cowie Wedding Chic

Vera Wang on Weddings

See a pattern here? I love the books that teach you how to create an event: I’d like to design a look for the wedding and work inwards from there, instead of choosing a bunch of details and trying to work outward. That could get out of control!

For “being engaged” books, so far I’m reading:

What No One Tells the Bride

The Hard Questions

52 Fights (This one reads more like a novel).

Notes on Martha Stewart's Wedding Show Thursday, April 16, 2009

I was so excited to get the chance to see the Martha Stewart Show special on *weddings*! The audience was full of excited brides-to-be and each audience member got some great swag to take home. Lucky them! Here's a rundown:

Vera Wang: I haven't been an automatic fan of Vera's work, but I love her attention to detail and admire her work ethic. It's nice to hear an artist speak of her creations, and this is no exception. This year's bridal collection was inspired by ballgowns in general, but in her bid to re-invent them, says she fashioned the gowns as if they had been "tossed in the wash machine and are a little imperfect." Interesting. For more realistic ideas, she shows a beautiful "wedding-guest" dress from her Kohl's department store line ($78) and a mid-priced (at $2500!) red evening gown. Everyone in the audience gets a bottle of her latest fragrance and some of her notecards.

David Mann: He decorates a wedding "for less" with baby's breath and tulle. I am not a fan of this look for *everything*, but it is certainly creative for a few elements here & there. I do like the hanging shiny butterflies that he shows in a photo. Not sure how I'd use them.

Recently married Frédéric Fekkai discusses hair matching your dress. He & Martha agree that hair MUST be shiny, bouncy, and natural. Brides that are "laquered to death" are unnatural. No laquer, ladies! Frédéric shows some very glamorous, uncomplicated styles and describes how to pull them off yourself. He reminds brides to start thinking about hair after they've purchased a dress, so at least 6 months out from the wedding.

J'maal Buster: The Eyelash Guy. Personally, I have two words about false eyelashes: Do it! They're an easy way to add some subtle glamour to your face. People won't know *why* your eyes are suddenly so beautiful, but they can't help but stare! He introduces a great tool for putting on your false eyelashes. I'm skeptical. They should have had one of the audience brides try it.

Celebrity Bridal Q&A Panel: All the show's guests answer audience questions. The camaraderie between Vera (someone who usually appears outwardly reserved) and Darcy & Martha is nice to watch. It's obvious that weddings are their passion. Some interesting points:
- Don't sweat the small stuff. When you are stressed about some small detail, remember your husband! This is repeated ad nauseum, but it's important.
- Your guests are the most important thing on the day of your wedding--even more important than you! I like this one.

So, that's the story on this year's Spring Wedding Special on the Martha Stewart show. Of course, you can indulge yourself with obsessively perfect wedding details as often as you'd like on her wedding website.

Wedding Wednesday: Liara & Antonio Wednesday, April 15, 2009

This week's wedding is a private ceremony photographed by the incomparable Elizabeth Messina. I love the simplicity of this wedding, the natural setting, and the bride's beautiful hair. I saw a post on Weddingbee about natural hair, and I think this is a great example. Accessorized with a flower, Liara's hair is lovely and perfect for the occasion.

Registered at Citibank? Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I saw this article online and it seems like one of those alarmist "Ahh! It's a recession!" articles. Unfortunately, I don't believe that being in a recession makes it okay to flaunt the rules of etiquette and flat-out ask for money. Besides, it's a recession--your guests probably don't have any money either! How would it look if you spent $10,000 on a wedding and then asked for help buying a car?

I think of my mom and the wedding gifts she received. She still has many of them, despite the fact she was married nearly 40 years ago to my father (who has since passed away) and is now happily remarried. But still, every so often she'd pull out some appliance or piece of china and say, "This was a wedding gift from so & so." It was such a nice sentiment and I remember her tone of voice as she said it.

I have always believed that gifts are optional at a wedding. These are the things people bought in order to help you start your lives together! Their value is beyond monetary. Weddings are emotional, sentimental, family-oriented events. I believe every bride starts off knowing this, but in times like these it's easy to forget. Be nice, ladies!

Bridal Workout: Gains & Losses Monday, April 13, 2009

As soon as the Mr. & I started talking about getting married, I knew one thing for sure--I wanted to lose weight.

I've always been "overweight," "plus-size," whatever you want to call it, but some life circumstances left me at my highest weight and quite unhealthy when David finally made it official. I'm happy to have found someone who loves me no matter what size I am! But the idea of being photographed looking like this makes me terribly nervous.

My doctor has since said that I'm very healthy despite the extra pounds, but I know that won't be the case for long if I don't make some changes. Since my health isn't a pressing issue, I'm forced to be honest: I just don't like the way I look. I want to wear more interesting clothes, and I'm tired of being worried every time I get on a plane or go to a theater or any other place where I might not quite fit into the seats. I miss being active, and I'd love to be more energetic and more physical in general.

All these things had been on my mind for a while, but having that ring on my finger was what really jump-started my fitness plan. I started 3 weeks ago with 30-40 minutes of cardio 5 days a week. I'm mostly doing the treadmill & elliptical trainer, but I plan to add some pilates, yoga, & aerobics in the coming months.

The exercise has been a big shock to my body--I haven't exercised so regularly in years! But after 3 weeks, I seem to be adjusting. I finally weighed myself again this weekend and found that I've gained four pounds. Disappointed, I found an online article reminding me to take measurements, also--and I'm glad I did! I've lost 2 inches each in the hips, waist & bust. Yay for exercise!

Black Tie Territory Saturday, April 11, 2009

My fiancé & I have been looking at venues for months! I began by casting a wide net online, and eliminating venues that were simply too expensive or had shoddy customer service. With that, we toured six venues and fell in love with one of them!

I'm going to withhold the name of our choice for now, but it's a relatively undiscovered ballroom near downtown, and it's beautiful! It doesn't quite have the indoor/outdoor feel I was looking for, but it's even better; plenty of windows for beautiful light, and formal décor.

I love the garden idea with all its cute, rustic DIY opportunities. But part of that was because I didn't think we could afford much else. But with the selection of this venue, I've suddenly realized we are heading into Black Tie territory--suddenly, it looks like the "black tie" wedding I'd always envisioned could become a reality! Most importantly, my fiancé is on board with the idea. I couldn't be happier.

Keeping with my "outside in" philosophy, I refused to get attached to ANY ideas until we've selected a venue. Everything, from the dress to the flowers, needs to coordinate with your space in order to be cohesive. So now, let the planning & idea gathering begin!

At the gym the other day, I eagerly read my latest copy of Martha Stewart Weddings, and featured prominently is the formal Rainbow Room wedding of Priya & Ralph. What an excellent example of a formal wedding, and how timely! Most of these images were photographed by Dan Loh. Find more pictures from Priya & Ralph's wedding on his blog.










Another wedding that immediately comes to mind is the wedding of Darcy Miller, wedding editor for Martha Stewart Weddings. I was in college when Darcy was married nearly 10 years ago, and I still remember the awe I felt looking at these wedding photos in the magazine. Amazing! The timelessness of a black tie wedding is unparalleled. Not ONE element of Darcy's wedding can be considered "out of style" now. Amazing!

A google search for Darcy & Andy's wedding reveals a 2001 article from indiebride.com, ripping apart Darcy's über-traditional affair as well as her choice to share the details of her courtship & wedding in the pages of the magazine. I wonder what the author would say now, 10 years later, with the advent of blogs, social networks, virtually instant digital photo uploading, and the massive explosion of the bridal industry! In 2009, Darcy's publishing her own wedding seems like a natural choice.

Wedding Wednesdays Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Before I got engaged, my photography career was a great excuse to look at beautiful wedding photos! Now I can openly look at all the wedding eye-candy I want, and I'm lucky enough to have the chance to share with my readers.

Every Wednesday, I'll be featuring a beautifully photographed wedding for your enjoyment. I'll be giving special preference to the weddings of African Americans, minorities, plus-size brides, gays/lesbians, and others not represented in mainstream bridal media. Photography counts! I love to see a wedding where the pictures are clear, gorgeous, and full of emotion!

This week features the wedding of Sonya & Janssen of Washington D.C., photographed by the incredibly talented Kate Headley. The group shot is featured in the Spring 2009 issue of Martha Stewart Weddings.

As with all beautiful weddings, the details are wonderful. I especially love the use of color, from the bridesmaids' orange shoes to Sonya's own purple sweater, which she wore for some of the outdoor photos.

Why Pink Broom? Tuesday, April 7, 2009

As an African American bride, representation is a big sticking point with me. Overwhelmingly, the bridal industry markets itself to brides who fit society's ideal of the "perfect girl," thinking that everyone wants to look just like that on her wedding day. Anyone who doesn't have $50k to spend and who isn't white, thin, or straight is left out. If that doesn't match you, there are "alternative" planning resources for brides that want to buck the mainstream completely.

Well as it turns out, I'm in between these extremes - I love nice things and pretty accessories and am fashion conscious, but I don't match the "ideal." I started trying to find examples of other "in-betweens" like me, but it's not so easy.

So I created "Pink Broom," to add one more voice to the bridal market. I'm on both sides of the industry (I'm also a photographer) and hopefully can provide some unique insight. I'll chronicle the process of planning my own wedding and the experience of being an "other" in such a difficult industry.

Great Non-Strapless Dresses Thursday, April 2, 2009

I wonder why the trend in bridal fashion is a style most people can't wear. Strapless dresses are NOT universally flattering, and I've been working hard to explore non-strapless (yet still sleeveless) options. I have a few favorites:

Lazaro style 3701. I love the modified A-line shape, the flattering V-neck, and the lace detailing. Retails for about $3,500.


Casablanca style 1895. I swore I wouldn't wear anything with pickups (still not sure about that), but this one photographs well. Check out this real bride in it. In the $1,500 range.


Next up is David's Bridal/Oleg Cassini, CD278. It's an incredibly simple and beautifully cut dress. I also apprehensive about buying anything from David's Bridal, but am willing to test my luck. A personal favorite, I have yet to see many brides wearing this (although many talk about trying it on). Relatively inexpensive at $750 ($850 for plus sizes). Maybe in the upcoming year we'll see some "real brides" wearing this one:

I'll confess; these (well the last two, anyway) are my top contenders! My personal figure "issues" are plus-sizedness in general, a big bust and a big stomach (and a relatively smaller waist). I wonder if one of these will do the trick for me.