DIY and the Dead Fly Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Despite my insistence that I'm not a DIY type of girl, I find myself doing a lot of things for this wedding myself. Among my projects is the Martha Stewart flower pillow.

I love this pillow, and from the moment I saw it I knew I wanted one for my wedding! I have a little sewing experience and this seemed like a project I could do.

For inspiration, I studied carefully the diagrams and tutorial over at Martha Stewart, which boasts this beautiful example:

Then I also read the more explicit tutorial of Weddingbee blogger "Mrs. Perfume," whose mother helped her with this beautiful one:

I picked up some remnant fabric at Joann's to practice with, and set to work with my little sewing kit. Here was some of my inspiration while I worked:

Oh yes, Michael provides the perfect sewing music.

First, I cut out those ovals just as Martha described: ovals with straight sides. FH pointed out that they look a lot like my little mouse, so I put them side by side. Twins!

Then, I got my sewing kit and went to work, following all the directions. I cut my little ovals out, and instead of pinching them with wire, I stitched them through the middle.

Then I started sewing them together. But I noticed something odd. Where the directions said there should be no gaps, there were plenty. And this didn't look like a flower at all! It was a weird, floppy thing. I tossed it onto my keyboard and noticed that it looked.... like a dead fly!

FH came over to see, and when I described it to him he immediately began holding it through the air, buzzing around with it. Guys!

Anyway, I quickly saw what my problem was: the ovals were too straight and too long. They really need to be more like circles. Why doesn't Martha say this? Wait, who am I kidding?! It wouldn't be a Martha project without some frustration.

So I cut out some new ovals.

These were quite a bit smaller (and the flower tends to get smaller as you add petals to it), so it was harder to sew. Still, there was an instant improvement.

And for good measure, we checked -- it's cat-approved!

Everybody Jump! Sunday, January 31, 2010

That's right, the namesake of this blog! It's time to focus a little on the broom. Jumping the broom is a tradition for African-American weddings. Its origins are a bit uncertain, but it's significance is clear.

After the minister has pronounced us "man and wife," and we kiss, and we turn back to the congregation, we'll jump the broom just before we walk back down the aisle. I think it will just be a joyous moment and a great signifier that "we are married." 

I have a vision in my head for this broom, and the feeling that it has to be handmade. It just seems like that type of item. I don't have too many ideas yet, but I do plan to have a basic, "old-looking" straw broom, and decorate it with ribbon, wrap it in a little fabric (maybe some fabric from my wedding dress), and some handmade silk flowers. Here are some pictures (sources are linked):

 

  

 

When it came time to think about it, I was surprised by how emotionally invested I was in this broom. Yes, I'm an American, a Westerner, and in planning a traditional "white wedding" (that term just refers to the dress, by the way) I'm acknowledging that I've absorbed many of society's wedding traditions, and that they resonate with me. But the broom, I guess, is the only tangible evidence we have in the ceremony, the only part that says, "Here is a black woman getting married." I'm very lucky that my fiance, who is white, is as excited about this as I am!

I was also surprised to find myself thinking of it as an heirloom broom. Maybe we'll have a son or daughter who gets married, and wants to jump the broom? Or, in the even nearer future, what if one of my little cousins (I'm the oldest of 8 girl cousins) wants to get married and jump it? The "family broom." What a great tradition!

The Most Important Thing Friday, January 8, 2010

My mother and I were invited to a wedding once; it was my mom's co-worker and my mother had heard endless details about this wedding for over a year now. We drove an hour, parked our cars, climbed up a San Francisco hill by ourselves at night and rode an ancient elevator in a questionable building.

We were ushered into a room with no chairs and not enough food, and full of hungry people, and we stayed there -- for two hours. We had no idea what was going on, until we heard someone say it:

"Oh, what a beautiful wedding." What?!


Turns out, this particular bride invited some guests only to the reception, and others to both events. I remember how cheated we felt; especially my mom, who knew this woman. We drove all this way only to miss the point?


Of course this anecdote is related more to the personality of this particular bride than anything else, but I think it underscores the importance of allowing your guests to see you get married, and to feel a part of that experience.
I read something a while back about the wedding ceremony being a focal point of the day itself. (What else would it be? That's the whole point!) The article went on to say that if your wedding ceremony is beautiful and meaningful and heartfelt, and if it draws your guests in, that everything else about your wedding day will flow smoothly.

A few weeks ago, I got a chance to flesh out the ceremony. We met with our officiant, a very nice spiritual lady who has lots of ideas. Almost without thinking, I figured out the elements of our ceremony. It seems like we will have:

- a dedication & brief remembrance of those relatives not with us
- a reading by one of my best friends
- a song performed by my cousin (a violinist)
- vows that we do not write ourselves (but choose in advance)
- an invitation for our guests to bless us in our new marriage
- jumping the broom

To help us, we are using one of my favorite ceremony planning books: The Wedding Ceremony Planner. It's an excellent book, especially if one is not particularly religious.

It is so important to me that our ceremony reflect us in a way nothing else that day does. Falling for my FH, and being with him every day, is one of the simplest things in the world to me. Marrying him is such a natural step for us to take, and we are so happy to do so. I hope our guests can understand what this means for us and share our happiness, and I especially look forward to feeling the encouragement and love of all those who have taken this step before us.

Here is one of my favorite ceremony sermons, at the wedding of Jennifer and Ming. I found this through the Stillmotion blog, and I love the words and the sentiment:



*Updated: I inadvertently posted the wrong video above. It's fixed now.