The invitations Have Arrived! Sunday, February 21, 2010

Our beautiful invitations from Smock Papers have arrived! Having picked these out nearly a year ago, I am happy to present them (in slightly altered form):

They are beautiful to me now, but a few days ago when I picked them up I was profoundly disappointed. The accent color is "shell," which looks fine in the photograph, but seems darker and a little too "mauve-y" when I first saw them. This is different from how it appears in the in-store example book, so I was surprised.

Also, I was a little disappointed about all the back & forth it took to get these invites to look the way we wanted. I read the blog at Smock, and I have heard all the glowing reviews, seen them featured in magazines, etc. I was under the impression that the company would customize the invitations so that they looked nice with their layouts; combining lines of text if necessary, and arranging the words on the page so that they blend seamlessly with the artwork.

I was sorely disappointed when I got the first proof back. I had put way too many words on the invitation, but there they all were, in a big jumble. They could have suggested a vertical layout, or combined more than one line, but they didn't. They typed the words just as I sent them, which is fine -- but I am not a graphic designer. I am paying for them to design it for me! Or so I thought.

Two proofs and $40 later,* I ended up just making a photoshop picture and laying out the words exactly as they are shown in the final version. I was irritated that I ended up paying them to fix and design my own invitation.

The customer service from them was great and the invitations are indeed beautiful, and they have some lovely designs. However, I suggest you know exactly what you want and spend some time envisioning it before you place an order.

In the long run, none of this will matter. Our guests won't know the difference! And of course, it's not like our marriage will be less valid because one shade of pink doesn't match the other. But I had envisioned these invitations for months, and seeing them in person was underwhelming. It was hard to acknowledge how much the little things about this wedding mean to me.

How did I make peace with this? It's coming up!

*At Smock, if you make more than 1 change, it's $40 per proof. We made two changes = 3 proofs total.

We'll have our cake, and we'll eat it Monday, February 15, 2010

FH and I were adamant about our desire to eliminate traditional, cheesy wedding cakes. I just couldn't get into the idea of the cake as "the center of the wedding" as one famous local cake baker has said. I can't find that quote (which was part of the intro of one of those "bake a wedding cake" shows), but I did find this cute clip of a someone making a wedding cake in 3 minutes:

We were content with our idea of having some kind of alternate cake structure, cake table, or dessert table, or maybe even little Whole Foods round cakes for each table (mmm!). What we weren't content with was the idea of having to pick up all these little cakes, deliver them, and set them out ourselves... and what would we put them on? Sure, it would save money, but I don't think my sanity is worth the small amount we'd be saving.

So, we caved. Since FH is an artist, he can appreciate the idea of a wedding cake that is also a work of art. But our philosophy (as it is with many aspects of this wedding) is that we should either get exactly what we want, or nothing at all. Since we can't afford one of these lovely works of art, we'll just get a very simple cake and call it a day.

Our wedding is a classic ballroom wedding in an urban setting (This is what I mean by "urban black-tie..." I don't know, I made it up!). This means we should have a cake that's a little modern, subtly interesting, and not too flowery or "froufy." Serving about 130 guests, our cake should be about 4 tiers. Here are some of the choices we're looking at:

 

via ProjectWedding.com

I love it: nice and simple! A clean, classic design with double beading at each layer reminds me of a nicely painted room with crown molding. The scroll designs are pretty, but we are not really into them. If we did have a scroll-y cake, though, I'd like to mix things up by combining shapes and a little color.

via Dallas Affaires Cake Co.

This one is from one of the vendors we're considering, Dallas Affaires Cake Co. Their cakes are beautifully designed and consistent. I like the two-tone effect on this one.

Here's one from another cake vendor we like, Elena's Cakes. It's another combined shape one... but what if the vertical stripes were just stripes (and not flowery stripes)? It might look nice. Plus it would mimic the light fixtures at our venue, which I initially hated but have since made peace with.

 

photo via Elena's Cakes

A post like this wouldn't be complete if I didn't include our dream cake. We love the idea of this incredibly unique and beautiful cake by Sylvia Weinstock, featured on the cover of Martha Stewart Weddings' anniversary issue:

Wow! What beautiful, stunning work. Mr. Oyster makes the excellent point that sugar flowers are pointless if they look exactly like real ones. With florists decorating cakes nowadays, why pay for all those hours of labor? 

But if the flowers look like something you'd want to eat? If they look so organically a part of the cake that they seem to have grown out of it? Well then, they seem perfectly justifiable in that sense. It's true; cake was among the lowest of Mr. Oyster's and my priorities, and paying for something whose value seems intangible is difficult for us. But this cake? It's just beautiful and *different*. It doesn't look like cake! It's just a mound of beautiful white flowers. Who wouldn't want to eat that?

Barring the Weinstock masterpiece, I think I like the simple square cake best. A version of it is featured on the front of Martha Stewart's wedding webpage (and in the "Real Weddings" feature of Christopher & Liezel):

 

Oh, and this is our cake cutting song! Why not have a little fun with it?

**Update: Mr. Oyster, who is currently suffering from a cold (poor sweetie!), has pointed out that the Weinstock cake looks to him like a big pile of wadded up tissues. Ew! Nothing like a guy's point of view to make you see things in a different light.

Let the music play.... Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Well, now that the photographer debacle has, hopefully, been put behind us, FH cheerfully asked me, "What's the next step?" The truth is, at this point, there are MANY next steps, but the one that's got my attention lately is our music choice.

In addition to being a photographer, I'm a music teacher, so this one is another high-priority item for me. I'm much less stressed about it, though, because it just is something that isn't as timeless and permanent as the wedding photographs were. So I'd like to have a little fun with things. In fact, I'd hire college students if I could, but the wedding is in the summer and who knows where they'll be!

For the ceremony, I'm thinking of a sort of classic/romantic vibe. Our ceremony room has a pretty swirly pattern on the carpet, pretty, gold chandeliers, gold-ish chiavari chairs, and is decorated in neutral colors. I have some beautiful floral ideas, too. One whole wall is windows, and the ceremony will be in the evening (so, nice light from an almost-sunset? I hope?). For this, I'm thinking of something like a string quartet or a harpist. My cousin, an orchestra teacher, has offered to play violin, so I'd definitely like to incorporate that somehow. It would also be special to me since she played at my mom's wedding about 5 years ago.

I was wondering if the harp music wouldn't be too insubstantial or somehow less "formal" than a quartet. I still don't know about that, but it's sure beautiful! In doing my youtube research, I found this video of a beautiful harpist (playing while the birds sing!).

For cocktail hour, I got the idea of having a nice, classic, jazz trio: piano, drums, and string bass. Plus, one of the sticking points with this venue is that it has a grand piano in our reception room! How could I not utilize that?! People will mix & mingle, drinks will be served, hors d'ouevres will be passed, people will be finding their placecards and being seated. I just thought it would be great to get the party started with some live music, and jazz is pretty neutral. I've found a great Brazilian trio here in the Dallas area, and they seem wonderful and just perfect for us. Problem is, I'm not sure if they're in our budget, and I just don't care enough to do a whole bunch of spreadsheet-shuffling at the moment. I'm tired of spending money! We'll see how this goes.

And for the reception, we already have a DJ in place. Can't wait to work with him! He's just sent me an email in advance of our meeting after the holidays. He says that I need to start working on my must play/do-not-play lists. Seems a little overwhelming.

I suppose my biggest concern is that we have enough music to keep the party going. I really would love for people to have a great time, and dance all night long!

Photo from flickr user "...Steve".

Playing the Wedding Card Saturday, October 10, 2009

I was trying to pay one of my vendors, and my card was declined. Oh no! The result of poor money management? Cutting it too close between a deposit and a payout?

Nope (well, at least not this time)!

Turns out I have a daily "transaction limit" on the card. Who knew? So, I called the bank... best to speak to them and make sure they knew I wasn't the victim of some scam. As I spoke to them, they wanted to know why I needed the limit increased, and I told them that I'm planning a wedding and trying to make deposits.

As I said this, the lady on the phone is *so* excited for me. "Congratulations!" she says, and puts the limit increase through immediately. "Weddings are so exciting! I hope you have a wonderful day!" I thought it was very sweet, especially since her enthusiasm and sincerity came through, even over the phone.

Inadvertently, I'd played the "wedding" card, and received excellent customer service as a result. Unfair? Perhaps. I mean, if I'd been trying to appeal to her good will to get "one up" over some other customer, like cutting in line or something, I suppose. But I think of all those wedding advice columns, that instruct brides & grooms to make sure the hotel & restaurant staff know that you're on your honeymoon. Sometimes you'll get a perk, sometimes not. I don't think there's any harm in appealing to people's natural sense of good will.

Have you played the wedding card? How did it work out?


Photo from Flickr user !efatima

Photographers, Seeking Same Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Knowing that I was looking at photographers in a different way than most brides, I decided to quit looking at endless websites & photographers' blogs and just think about what I wanted from this particular vendor. And who better to listen to than someone who's already faced this dilemma?

Wedding photographers! And this week, I've been listening more closely than ever. As I continue with this drama (not much happening at the moment, just in between meetings & phone calls, and evaluating portfolios), here's what's been ringing in my head:

"I don't believe [that] every photographer (or any photographer) is the best at everything. I think that certain people are the best at specific things, and Jose [Villa] is the best at the particular kind of wedding that Jeff and I are going to be having." - Jessica Claire

Hmm. What kind of wedding are we having? Better answer this one, quick.

"My priorities for a wedding photographer were [...] that I be able to look at the wedding photos and know undoubtedly that he/she did the best job with our day that could be done..." - Jessica Claire

No pressure, right??

"On my wedding day itself, I want the day to just unfold organically and I want to remember the story and all of the little stories that make up the big story. I want to see moments in my pictures that maybe I wasn’t even present for and I want to be able to relive the way the day felt. So, knowing this I knew that I wanted to go with someone who is a photojournalist…someone who can tell a story with an image…someone who can create images that say more than what is at first obvious to the viewer. Images that make you want to look a little deeper and stare a little longer." - Justine Ungaro

This one I'd already considered... one of my long-standing marks of a good photographer is that his/her images make me cry, even when I don't know the people in them.

I needed to do some soul-searching, think long & hard about how I want our wedding to be remembered, and fast.

*Photo of Justine Ungaro on her wedding day by Greg Gibson

Choosing a DJ Thursday, September 10, 2009

Since a few of my major vendors are already booked, I thought I'd post something about the selection process.

I am super excited to work with our DJ. I thought (for about 5 minutes) of having an iPod reception (remember, I was in "garden wedding" mode), but I gave up on that idea fast. There are just too many variables, and asking a friend to DJ our wedding instead of being an actual guest seemed kind of sad, and we didn't have anyone we thought would volunteer. That said, I think an ipod wedding can work very well if you're creative & have the resources (sound system, a consistently working laptop, etc.). Because we are into international music and mixed genres, I didn't even consider a live band, although I do plan to have live music for the ceremony & cocktail hour.

So I knew I wanted a DJ. I know that FH and I are *major* music fiends, and we needed someone with the expertise and interests to be able to play several different genres and get the crowd to relate to them all. I also wanted someone who could keep the party moving. Our party would be quite a challenge; we'll have people of all ages, from 2- and 6- year olds up to people in their 80s, and we want them all to have a great time.

Other than that I had no idea where to start with this, no idea about price points or anything except what theknot.com calculator said a DJ should cost. I started emailing at random. I started by looking at the vendors in the one place I'm familiar: other photographers' blogs. Seriously! I already subscribe to a million photography blogs, several of them local, and it's a great resource. If the people were having a great time in the photos, I paid extra special attention to who the DJ was.

I sent out brief emails saying we were looking for a DJ with experience with multicultural crowds and an interest in different genres of music.

One person wrote back and said I was "weird." Another didn't respond.

Then, I found one more DJ on WeddingWire. He just had a nice look about him, and his website was pretty good. I emailed him and not only could he accommodate us, but he seemed excited about it! On speaking to him, he was just as congenial and knowledgeable as his emails suggested. I liked him so much that I figured his price was high -- and it was. A quick search, however, revealed that what I thought was "high" was "average for this area."

It was four months before I called him back to book him for our wedding. In the meantime, I discovered that he was DJ for a wedding of one of my coworkers, who had a beautiful wedding about a year ago. I felt comfortable with him, and it was a no-brainer.

We'll see how it goes next summer, but I have a pretty good feeling about it. We'll be meeting in December to talk about details, song lists, and schedules. I'll be compiling my song list in the meantime!

One Year to Go! Monday, July 6, 2009

My fiancé sweetly pointed out that our "one-year" date is coming up pretty soon! I am *so lucky* to have a guy who's so unabashedly excited that we're going to get married. And I'm thrilled, too! But oh, wow... a year! I've already been engaged for six months. What have I done?

We've created our:
- budget,
- guest list,
- wedding website,
- store registries,
- timeline
We have chosen the following vendors (we haven't booked them yet):
- Invitations
- Florist
- DJ
- photographer
- hair/makeup artist
- wedding planner
And we've selected a honeymoon destination.

The last vendors to select: a cake baker, an officiant, and musicians (ceremony & cocktail hour).

What's holding us up? Well, we're currently working on the most important vendor of all: a venue! Once we find that, we'll be able to book the other vendors in no time! I won't even choose a dress until we have the venue in place.

In the meantime, I'm packing up to move to my fiancé's house, preparing for an upcoming photoshoot, and hanging out with my friends & enjoying my days off!

One year to go!