Worth a thousand (more) words
This weekend, after placing my invitation order, I was so pleased to have something done so early. For a July wedding, I wouldn't need to order them until January or February, and mail them at the end of April. But the company is giving a discount to orders placed before the end of the year, so I was planning to order them in a month. Then, the invitation shop had a promotion for an additional discount this week, so there you go!

The lovely invitations are probably the only thing I've been 100% consistent about throughout this entire wedding planning process. The wording should be simple and formal. Easy, right? I arrived at the shop with all the information in tow (typed up, no less!) and today I got the call.

They want to change my invitation wording because it is improper!

Specifically, they want to change my "half past five" to "half after five" and we disagree about the usage of "two thousand ten" vs. "two thousand and ten." (They prefer the latter, by the way.) All my research says that both are acceptable, but it seems that "half after" and "two thousand and ten" are most likely related to British usage and are therefore more formal.

Two things at work here. First of all, I am having a formal wedding, which requires a formal invitation with formal wording. So I get that this is the time to be "correct."

But I wonder if these etiquette rules might just be too obscure for me. Who IN THE WORLD says "half after five"? I've never seen it; every wedding invitation I've seen says "half past." Every invitation also says "two thousand and ten" and since it looks better in print, I might concede that one. I might even write "half after" for the time... but I can just imagine my family calling up saying, "When is the wedding?"

On the other hand, just because large swaths of people don't understand an etiquette rule doesn't mean it's invalid.

We'll see. At this point, the invitation reads:

Together with their families
[Bride] and [Groom]

request the pleasure of your company

at their marriage
[Day] the [nth] of July
two thousand and ten

at half after (?) five in the evening

[Name of place]

[City, State]

Reception to follow


[in the lower right hand corner]:
R.s.v.p. before [Month] [Date]

[website address]


I had originally written, "Please r.s.v.p. by [date], but realized that, while in English, "to r.s.v.p." is a verb or a noun, it's actually a phrase that already contains the word please (Respondez, s'il-vous plait). But most people will read it as a verb, so...

Honestly, I'm surprised that I care so much. But as someone who loves to write and is interested in what words mean to different people, this is actually kind of fascinating.

Also, I think it's funny how wedding invitations, like so many aspects of the wedding itself, bring out these issues of class and style. I think many wedding disputes we have now are the result of being in different classes, and of our culture being in sort of a transitional period with different cultures & class systems. I mean, wouldn't this be easier (but so much more boring!) if every member of one family was in the same social class (and thus, had the same expectations for your wedding)? But, thankfully, that hardly relates to any Americans anymore. Interesting.

*The photo is of Emily Post, who frightens me a little.

1 comments:

  1. I'm totally loving your blog! And We have something in common :) We are both photographers and we are both engaged :) Thanks for sharing! Found you via wedding bee!

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