Verily, Vera Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm not quite a die-hard fan of Vera Wang's wedding dresses, but I am a fan of Vera herself. I remember when the Lifetime channel was getting into the wedding-tv craze, they would air a biography of her every so often, and I watched it nearly every time it was on.

When I heard her describe her latest line on the Martha Stewart Show "wedding" episode, I thought it seemed uninspired. What bride wants to look like her dress just came from the washing machine??

But when it comes to individual dresses and ideas, Vera's thought process is so interesting. The other day, yet another celebrity was married in a custom Vera. Ivanka Trump's beautiful dress got lots of people thinking twice about how beautiful & sexy one can be... without showing everything! Ivanka is pictured below, with her dress inspiration, Princess Grace.

A small but vocal number of brides (and photographers, and seamstresses, I'm sure) have been lamenting the recent strapless craze, and just today Vera reported that she is "tired" of strapless dresses. Amen! I can't *wait* for this trend to move along, and for sleeves (or, coverage in general) to be seen as a beautiful option instead of being relegated to the un-sexy, the dowdy, the über-traditional.

Of course, Ivanka is a recent convert to Orthodox Judaism, and presumably decided on sleeves for this reason. But what if that wasn't the reason? Currently, several of the articles describing her dress are quick to make the excuse, almost as if to say, "Well, she could have been sexy, but her religion got in the way."

Yes, we liberated women don't need to trumpet our chastity down the aisle. But wouldn't it be even more progressive if we acknowledged the complexity of both? That one doesn't have to choose, that you can be both sexy and tasteful at once, that maybe your sexiness lies in your decision to be tasteful? That maybe there are other things to be on your wedding day besides sexy?

In this video, Vera talks through her process for Ivanka's dress, and makes some interesting points regarding chastity, class, and modesty in wedding dresses. She also throws out the idea that not too long ago, it would never have been proper for a woman of a higher class to wear a revealing dress. Imagine that!

Just a little backwards Monday, October 26, 2009

The Secret Sociologist offers a decent dissection of Justice Keith Bardwell's interracial marriage comments from last week.

It's no fun... Saturday, October 24, 2009

It's no fun being sick! Sorry for the lack of posts. Pink Broom will return shortly.

DIY + HTML + CSS... Saturday, October 17, 2009

I'm not much into DIY stuff... at least not super crafty things like my invites, or making paper balls or sewing a dress. (I did have a plan to DIY the flowers... FH talked me out of that!) I was, however, dead-set on building my own wedding webpage.

I already have a low-maintenance website for my photography, and I just couldn't justify paying for a website when I already pay $100+ every year to a hosting company, which allows me to host an unlimited number of URLs. So, I paid $10 for our domain name, and got to work.

Halfway through our engagement, I finally have a wedding page I almost like. But it's taken me 6 months to do what someone else could have done in a few hours! The problem is that my coding skills, where 1 is inserting hyperlinks and 10 is coding a webpage from scratch, are about at level 5. So that's an issue. The other is that I don't have any major web-building software (Dreamweaver, Flash, etc.), so I'm limited to something I can install for free through my webhost.

I started out with a wordpress page, and I hated it right from the start. A wedding webpage should store lots of information, be simple to navigate, and relatively static (I don't think the front page should be changing all the time, for instance). I didn't like the blog-looking format. Also, I couldn't find any templates that were "wedding-y" enough. I worked on the page for a while and left it alone.

About a week ago, I decided that it wasn't enough and threw the whole thing out. In addition to wordpress, my hosting company has an easy 1-click install of Joomla, so I used that and, after a bunch of tutorials & Google searches, I've learned it. I've got the hang of it now, and I like the page. Click here to see the template I used.

It's a work in progress. I'm very proud of myself for adding a favicon. (!) Also, I'm going to create a registration-only portion of the site for the immediate family & bridal party, so they can have access to some extra information that I'd rather keep a surprise for the rest of our guests. I know Joomla has a bunch of form plug-ins, but we're just using a Google spreadsheet for our online-only RSVP.

I know the blogging bridal community has developers & coders far more talented than I. Anyone out there build your own page? How did you do it?

Photo from flickr user RosePhotosEtc.

Let the music play.... Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Well, now that the photographer debacle has, hopefully, been put behind us, FH cheerfully asked me, "What's the next step?" The truth is, at this point, there are MANY next steps, but the one that's got my attention lately is our music choice.

In addition to being a photographer, I'm a music teacher, so this one is another high-priority item for me. I'm much less stressed about it, though, because it just is something that isn't as timeless and permanent as the wedding photographs were. So I'd like to have a little fun with things. In fact, I'd hire college students if I could, but the wedding is in the summer and who knows where they'll be!

For the ceremony, I'm thinking of a sort of classic/romantic vibe. Our ceremony room has a pretty swirly pattern on the carpet, pretty, gold chandeliers, gold-ish chiavari chairs, and is decorated in neutral colors. I have some beautiful floral ideas, too. One whole wall is windows, and the ceremony will be in the evening (so, nice light from an almost-sunset? I hope?). For this, I'm thinking of something like a string quartet or a harpist. My cousin, an orchestra teacher, has offered to play violin, so I'd definitely like to incorporate that somehow. It would also be special to me since she played at my mom's wedding about 5 years ago.

I was wondering if the harp music wouldn't be too insubstantial or somehow less "formal" than a quartet. I still don't know about that, but it's sure beautiful! In doing my youtube research, I found this video of a beautiful harpist (playing while the birds sing!).

For cocktail hour, I got the idea of having a nice, classic, jazz trio: piano, drums, and string bass. Plus, one of the sticking points with this venue is that it has a grand piano in our reception room! How could I not utilize that?! People will mix & mingle, drinks will be served, hors d'ouevres will be passed, people will be finding their placecards and being seated. I just thought it would be great to get the party started with some live music, and jazz is pretty neutral. I've found a great Brazilian trio here in the Dallas area, and they seem wonderful and just perfect for us. Problem is, I'm not sure if they're in our budget, and I just don't care enough to do a whole bunch of spreadsheet-shuffling at the moment. I'm tired of spending money! We'll see how this goes.

And for the reception, we already have a DJ in place. Can't wait to work with him! He's just sent me an email in advance of our meeting after the holidays. He says that I need to start working on my must play/do-not-play lists. Seems a little overwhelming.

I suppose my biggest concern is that we have enough music to keep the party going. I really would love for people to have a great time, and dance all night long!

Photo from flickr user "...Steve".

Playing the Wedding Card Saturday, October 10, 2009

I was trying to pay one of my vendors, and my card was declined. Oh no! The result of poor money management? Cutting it too close between a deposit and a payout?

Nope (well, at least not this time)!

Turns out I have a daily "transaction limit" on the card. Who knew? So, I called the bank... best to speak to them and make sure they knew I wasn't the victim of some scam. As I spoke to them, they wanted to know why I needed the limit increased, and I told them that I'm planning a wedding and trying to make deposits.

As I said this, the lady on the phone is *so* excited for me. "Congratulations!" she says, and puts the limit increase through immediately. "Weddings are so exciting! I hope you have a wonderful day!" I thought it was very sweet, especially since her enthusiasm and sincerity came through, even over the phone.

Inadvertently, I'd played the "wedding" card, and received excellent customer service as a result. Unfair? Perhaps. I mean, if I'd been trying to appeal to her good will to get "one up" over some other customer, like cutting in line or something, I suppose. But I think of all those wedding advice columns, that instruct brides & grooms to make sure the hotel & restaurant staff know that you're on your honeymoon. Sometimes you'll get a perk, sometimes not. I don't think there's any harm in appealing to people's natural sense of good will.

Have you played the wedding card? How did it work out?


Photo from Flickr user !efatima

Nine Months! Thursday, October 8, 2009

This week marks nine months until the wedding. It also means I am halfway through our engagement.

Holy moly.

I realize many people successfully plan their weddings in a lot less than 9 months, but for me, it's a milestone; not only is it the halfway point, but it's about the time that I've started to look more closely at our wedding as something more than some abstract day in the future.

When I'd speak with vendors, especially early on, it was just impossible for me to imagine the actual wedding. I knew I wanted to marry FH, sure. And I knew I wanted our family & friends there, and that I wanted things to be beautiful and interesting and for everyone to be happy. But I think that's all I knew, and all I needed to know. After all, isn't it more important to focus on the big picture of what a marriage and wedding means?

My abstract thinking was helpful in every instance but one, but I'm glad for my little photographer crisis. I could finally picture this wedding as something real, and relate it to me personally, and start to imagine myself as a bride. Maybe it's related to FH and I having a relatively short courtship, or maybe it's because for so many years I thought I'd only be relegated to taking pictures of brides, and not being one. Who knows? But it's here now, and there's no denying it.

In the next 3 months, I'd like to:
- Decide on: Floral/table décor, a dress (!)
- Book: Portrait photographer, wedding planner, officiant, ceremony & cocktail hour musicians
- Initial meetings with planner & DJ
- Finish our website
- Plan/book our upcoming trip (see below)

Let's see... what have I done so far?
- Finished: Budget, timeline, guest list.
- Booked: Venue/caterer, photographer, DJ, florist.
- Found: Fabric store/seamstress (for the dress!), wedding planner
- Purchased: Bridal jewelry.

And just when it seems that we've checked off another item, we end up adding another one. With the addition of our new photographers, who are out of state, we need to travel to have our engagement session done. We thought about having them visit us here in Dallas, but it seemed prohibitive for a 2 hour photoshoot. As it turns out, FH has some friends in their area, and for the same amount we could go visit a new (to me, anyway) city and have some great pictures done.

Can anyone recommend any must-sees in Chicago?


Previous "countdown" posts

In Front of My Face Sunday, October 4, 2009

So finding a photogapher became a full time job. I started scouring websites, posting in message boards, looking for recommendations. I had one "dream photographer" in the DFW area, but I thought he was way too expensive. Once I had my unfortunate epiphany, I found a way to afford him... but by then he was booked. So, back to the drawing board.

And what kind of wedding will we be having? I asked myself this repeatedly as Jessica Claire's words rang in my head.

• Style: I imagine our wedding to be timeless & classic. We're not using a lot of "trendy" ideas or superfluous stuff. Okay, that's easy.
• We are not a particularly "wacky" couple... so someone who focuses on capturing wild and unexpected moments probably isn't for us.
  
• Time of day & location: Well, it's Dallas in the summer, so our wedding is indoors. This would eliminate anyone who does primarily outdoor, sunset, California-style weddings (or those featured on the wedding blogs lately... when are they going to stop with all the outdoor weddings!).
  

What do my instincts say? I realized that I react most to beautiful, classic images taken with film; black & white images capturing emotion, moments with family & friends, private moments between couples, fine art-style detail shots of dresses and veils and other details.

I came up with a rating system that helped me sort based on personality, technical know-how, customer service, and a few other things. But pretty quickly it came down to one thing: feeling.

I had to see images so good that I wanted to go back to them again & again. They had to be good enough for me to feel something every single time, to say, "Oh, how cute!" instead of "nice lighting." An absence of gimmicks, overprocessing, or images that were technically brilliant but lifeless. The images needed to tell the story of the day and give me a sense of who the couple is, and make me react, again and again.

But who? Whose images do I keep looking at? And it turns out the answer was right in front of me. There's a blog I subscribe to that has beautiful images. Every time this photographer posts a new wedding, I always take time out to stop and look at the slideshow, or at the pictures, or whatever. I consistently loved them. But I never thought of him for our wedding. He's too far away! Too expensive! And besides, he's like a celebrity to me, someone whose work I've studied and loved for two years or so.

Eventually, I got over myself and dared to click over to his pricing page. Hey, it was in our budget! And he's not as far away as I thought! I sent an inquiry for availability, and while I waited, I looked at the images repeatedly and in-depth. It seemed perfect. Plus, his artistic style meant that FH was on board, too.

Two days later, I got word -- he's available! The past week has been spent with emails back & forth, spreadsheet calculations, telephone consultations, and finally, we submitted our package request and are waiting for the final contract. Success!

I'll make a formal announcement and introduction when it gets closer to the wedding. I can't wait! I can't believe the answer was in front of me the whole time!