Dress Distress! Sunday, May 24, 2009

I've been dreading the "bridal shopping experience." I know plus sized brides don't have many options, and I've heard all the horror stories of salesladies being mean to us. But I still deserve a nice dress, right? So in a burst of courageousness, I made an appointment at a bridal shop. 

This was a consignment shop, so they had used dresses that could be purchased off the rack. There's very little help from the salesladies and you can go through the racks by yourself to see if there's something you like. I didn't expect to find "the dress" here, but thought the consignment shop experience would be less harrowing than the full-on "bridal salon" nightmare, especially for a first time. 

They only had three dresses in my size, which I expected. So I tried on the first dress. It was a strapless, beaded satin thing. I know I don't want strapless, but I want to try on *everything* before I decide. So I happily put it on. I was surprised to see that the strapless dress seemed to highlight my face, and I realized that my shoulders aren't quite as rounded as I thought. It was nice. When I looked in the mirror, I looked "bridal." I'm not sure if it's because it was the first dress I put on, or because it looks like the archetypal "bridal" image. Hm. I still don't want a strapless, but I suppose I could wear a well-altered one, in a pinch. 

The second dress was a little different. It was the same exact dress, but instead of strapless it had a sheer short-sleeved addition to the top of it. It had a sweetheart neckline, which was more flattering, but I really hated it. I hate short sleeves, and the dress looked like it was 5 years old. Besides, what's the point of wearing a non-strapless dress if you STILL have to wear a strapless bra? Decide if you want sleeves or not! What a weird dress!

There was a third dress, but it was too big and fell off my shoulders, so I couldn't see much. What I did see wasn't worth mentioning. 

Here's what was so difficult. I was the only bride there by myself, and there were three other (thin) girls there with their mothers. My mom lives 2,000 miles away. So I was a little sad. Also, the saleslady kept asking the other black girl's mom what she thought of my dresses. I get this all the time--we had to repeatedly tell her we weren't there together. The saleslady seemed confused; aren't all black people friends with each other? ::::sigh::::. 

The hardest part was watching the thin girls try on dress after dress, all of which looked wonderful on them. One girl, getting married in Italy, wore a beautiful St. Pucchi dress which was on sale for only $2,000. It was hard to watch; me trying on my two disgusting satin concoctions while the others had the run of the store. 

I'd prepared myself for the possibility that there wouldn't be any options, and I knew it would be difficult to see the other, prettier, smaller dresses. But I guess I wasn't prepared enough! It was all I could do not to burst into tears as I drove away from the dress shop. 

The bright spot in all this is that I realized that I look nice; I like what I see in the mirror, I'm happy with the size I am. I deserve a beautiful dress as much as anyone, and I'm determined to find it (in my price range!). I'm thrilled to be getting married, and it shows. I'm going to look great! But for all of my self-confidence, this is still is a little hard. The best news is that after this experience, it will surely get easier from here.

Part 2 of my "dress reality" post is coming soon, and it's a lot more positive!