Engagement Brain Sunday, February 28, 2010

I made a doctor's appointment recently, and the nice woman taking the appointments asked me a million questions, which included, "Are you married or single?" I answered, "Mar-- I mean, sing-- um..." Finally I just said, "Sorry, I'm engaged!" And she laughed with me. I was mortified! But she seemed to understand.

A few days later, having forgotten my embarrassment, I picked up the phone at home and it was some telemarketer pretending to be a friend of my FH. (I guess that's their new strategy now?). He said, "Well, is this Mrs. _______?" And I said, "Ye-- um... not, I mean-- almost!" Unfortunately, the poor man was embarrassed and confused, and I explained, "I'm sorry, we're getting married in a few months! I never know what to say anymore!" And he said, "Congratulations!" and apologized profoundly if he'd offended me. Of course, I had to apologize for embarrassing him.

I guess I would have a prepared answer to these questions if FH and I were not engaged. If we lived together before deciding to get married, for instance, or if we were just dating, the distinction would definitely be clearer. I would know what to say to telemarketers, and it would probably be on my mind that I am still legally single, despite what my heart says.

As we get closer to the wedding, I am more and more comfortable with the idea that FH and I will be married. There's definitely a shock factor (married!), but it's true I already think of him as my partner in life. I have accidentally referred to him as "my husband" more than once, and he revealed to me that he's called me his "wife" when talking to friends!

I'm glad we're having a long engagement, but it's difficult to feel "in transition" for so long. I wonder if this isn't our minds' way of settling things down... and letting us know that the wait is almost over!