Wow, I'm a Bee! I'm so excited to join the Weddingbee community. I first heard about Weddingbee about four years ago, when I was Googling for something else. I thought, "Oh, that's nice" and that was it.
A few years later, after I'd met Mr. Oyster and become engaged, I thought, "Wasn't there something about a bee...?" And here I am! What did brides do before the internet? I'm 14 months into our 18 month engagement, and I can't imagine planning a wedding without the Hive!
I met Mr. Oyster nearly two years ago in a photography class. Turns out we'd both signed up to keep busy during the summer months (we are teachers) and Mr. Oyster says he immediately noticed me. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for him. I just wasn't really paying attention. I noticed that he seemed to ask me for help with his camera a lot.
This the first photo I ever took of him during that class. I remember that, while I was claiming not to notice this guy, he sure did have a nice smile.
Later, when he asked me to go to the museum with him, I accepted on the condition that it was not a "date." Hey, what can I say, I was resistant! But Mr. Oyster's intelligence, generous spirit and kindness soon won me over. Not to mention the fact that we are incredibly similar in some ways, completely different with others, and we seem to compliment each other perfectly. After dating five months, we were engaged!
I've spent most of my adult life single and independent, and, like any 30-year-old first time bride, it's been interesting to balance my independence with my upcoming married life. I am thoroughly enjoying the process! Mr. Oyster and I are equal parts traditional and modern, eclectic and mainstream. As we plan our wedding together, we spend lots of time laughing, dancing to music, singing songs and playing with our four (!) cats.
Why "Oyster"? Well, it's an adorable icon, and I do like to wear pearls on occasion. I hear that oysters are supposed to be a sexy type of food, but I truly wouldn't know. I'm allergic to shellfish.
For better or worse, I'm putting a lot of my heart & soul into this wedding, and now that our engagement is starting to wind down (or wind up, as the case may be), I'm thinking more about what I'll take away from this engagement process. Here are some that immediately come to mind:
Self Image. I'll be writing another post on this later, but the fact that I'll be seen by many (and for many years to come) in my wedding dress has forced me to confront some truths about the way I see myself, and it hasn't always been an easy process.
I've re-discovered sewing and even purchased my first sewing machine. The process of having my dress made required me to think a lot about fabric, fashion, and how things are constructed, and I actually like that stuff! Go figure. I finally know what my mother was doing when she'd see a dress in the department store, look closely at the seams, and head to Hancock.
Organization. I've always considered myself organized, but my army of spreadsheets, charts, graphs, and folders have shown me that I really can organize a huge event and simultaneously deal with the merging of household finances. It helps that FH is constantly telling me how impressed he is. ;-)
After the wedding, I'm planning on working more with my photography business. I was always a little scared of starting a business on my own, but I have more confidence now that I could organize something as complicated as a business, if I wanted to.
Family drama. Unfortunately, my family's had its share of drama-inducing moments, mostly, weddings and funerals. At this point, I really feel that (a) I can predict pretty well who will be dramatic and how they will act out, (b) I am too old to worry about what they are doing and (c) I'm too focused on my own life to care. I find that having this attitude actually encourages people to respect me more. In fact, I anticipated drama where there wasn't much at all. Another "go, figure!" here.
Domesticity. I hope it was merely coincidence that, on the same day I told the D.J. I'd like us to be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. [Fiance's Name], I went out and bought the sewing machine. I know there are some ways in which I'm thoroughly modern (hello, first marriage at the age of 30!) and others where I'm just like my great-grandmother. I still feel a little conflicted about it, though.
Oh, no!!!
There are so many more things I could list. I think this post will require a sequel!
Anyone else? Is all this time/energy spent planning your wedding actually helpful to you in some way?
Every so often it seems like I have a "wedding week--" a super-productive whirlwind of a week where I try to get everything done before a certain (often arbitrary) deadline. This deadline doesn't correspond to any checklist or "recommended list of tasks" or anything like that. I look at the list of things to be done for the wedding, and decide that they'll be done by a certain date. Then I don't do anything.
But invariably, I wake up one dayand suddenly have a burning desire to do everything on that imaginary list. At once.
The last one of these occurred before Christmas. I was going out of town, and it would be the holidays, and that would mean New Years', and so I got it in my head all the things I wanted to do before we were "six months out." I remember a week full of appointments, bookings, and check writing. It was a blur. Could it have been done a week or two later? Sure! But I felt better, having met the deadline in my head.
So this week, I have three meetings with vendors, finish gathering addresses for the invites, finalize the guest list, set up hotel blocks, and schedule yet more appointments for Spring Break, which is week after next. Oh yeah, and I'm also working full time and going to physical therapy for that back injury.
Normally, committing myself to coming home late every night would be terribly exhausting and I would dread it. But for some reason, I'm totally energized! It's for the wedding! I'll meet the deadline in my head!
Oh, and the most exciting of all? On Tuesday, I'll see my dress for the first time! I can't wait to see it, and, of course, to share it with you!
*This book is hilarious. I read it years ago and again when I got engaged. It's funny for many reasons, most notably, the bride's ever-growing checklist.
FH and I were adamant about our desire to eliminate traditional, cheesy wedding cakes. I just couldn't get into the idea of the cake as "the center of the wedding" as one famous local cake baker has said. I can't find that quote (which was part of the intro of one of those "bake a wedding cake" shows), but I did find this cute clip of a someone making a wedding cake in 3 minutes:
We were content with our idea of having some kind of alternate cake structure, cake table, or dessert table, or maybe even little Whole Foods round cakes for each table (mmm!). What we weren't content with was the idea of having to pick up all these little cakes, deliver them, and set them out ourselves... and what would we put them on? Sure, it would save money, but I don't think my sanity is worth the small amount we'd be saving.
So, we caved. Since FH is an artist, he can appreciate the idea of a wedding cake that is also a work of art. But our philosophy (as it is with many aspects of this wedding) is that we should either get exactly what we want, or nothing at all. Since we can't afford one of these lovely works of art, we'll just get a very simple cake and call it a day.
Our wedding is a classic ballroom wedding in an urban setting (This is what I mean by "urban black-tie..." I don't know, I made it up!). This means we should have a cake that's a little modern, subtly interesting, and not too flowery or "froufy." Serving about 130 guests, our cake should be about 4 tiers. Here are some of the choices we're looking at:
via ProjectWedding.com
I love it: nice and simple! A clean, classic design with double beading at each layer reminds me of a nicely painted room with crown molding. The scroll designs are pretty, but we are not really into them. If we did have a scroll-y cake, though, I'd like to mix things up by combining shapes and a little color.
via Dallas Affaires Cake Co.
This one is from one of the vendors we're considering, Dallas Affaires Cake Co. Their cakes are beautifully designed and consistent. I like the two-tone effect on this one.
Here's one from another cake vendor we like, Elena's Cakes. It's another combined shape one... but what if the vertical stripes were just stripes (and not flowery stripes)? It might look nice. Plus it would mimic the light fixtures at our venue, which I initially hated but have since made peace with.
photo via Elena's Cakes
A post like this wouldn't be complete if I didn't include our dream cake. We love the idea of this incredibly unique and beautiful cake by Sylvia Weinstock, featured on the cover of Martha Stewart Weddings' anniversary issue:
Wow! What beautiful, stunning work. Mr. Oyster makes the excellent point that sugar flowers are pointless if they look exactly like real ones. With florists decorating cakes nowadays, why pay for all those hours of labor?
But if the flowers look like something you'd want to eat? If they look so organically a part of the cake that they seem to have grown out of it? Well then, they seem perfectly justifiable in that sense. It's true; cake was among the lowest of Mr. Oyster's and my priorities, and paying for something whose value seems intangible is difficult for us. But this cake? It's just beautiful and *different*. It doesn't look like cake! It's just a mound of beautiful white flowers. Who wouldn't want to eat that?
Barring the Weinstock masterpiece, I think I like the simple square cake best. A version of it is featured on the front of Martha Stewart's wedding webpage (and in the "Real Weddings" feature of Christopher & Liezel):
Oh, and this is our cake cutting song! Why not have a little fun with it?
**Update: Mr. Oyster, who is currently suffering from a cold (poor sweetie!), has pointed out that the Weinstock cake looks to him like a big pile of wadded up tissues. Ew! Nothing like a guy's point of view to make you see things in a different light.
My mother and I were invited to a wedding once; it was my mom's co-worker and my mother had heard endless details about this wedding for over a year now. We drove an hour, parked our cars, climbed up a San Francisco hill by ourselves at night and rode an ancient elevator in a questionable building.
We were ushered into a room with no chairs and not enough food, and full of hungry people, and we stayed there -- for two hours. We had no idea what was going on, until we heard someone say it:
"Oh, what a beautiful wedding." What?!
Turns out, this particular bride invited some guests only to the reception, and others to both events. I remember how cheated we felt; especially my mom, who knew this woman. We drove all this way only to miss the point?
Of course this anecdote is related more to the personality of this particular bride than anything else, but I think it underscores the importance of allowing your guests to see you get married, and to feel a part of that experience.
I read something a while back about the wedding ceremony being a focal point of the day itself. (What else would it be? That's the whole point!) The article went on to say that if your wedding ceremony is beautiful and meaningful and heartfelt, and if it draws your guests in, that everything else about your wedding day will flow smoothly.
A few weeks ago, I got a chance to flesh out the ceremony. We met with our officiant, a very nice spiritual lady who has lots of ideas. Almost without thinking, I figured out the elements of our ceremony. It seems like we will have:
- a dedication & brief remembrance of those relatives not with us
- a reading by one of my best friends
- a song performed by my cousin (a violinist)
- vows that we do not write ourselves (but choose in advance)
- an invitation for our guests to bless us in our new marriage
- jumping the broom
To help us, we are using one of my favorite ceremony planning books: The Wedding Ceremony Planner. It's an excellent book, especially if one is not particularly religious.
It is so important to me that our ceremony reflect us in a way nothing else that day does. Falling for my FH, and being with him every day, is one of the simplest things in the world to me. Marrying him is such a natural step for us to take, and we are so happy to do so. I hope our guests can understand what this means for us and share our happiness, and I especially look forward to feeling the encouragement and love of all those who have taken this step before us.
Here is one of my favorite ceremony sermons, at the wedding of Jennifer and Ming. I found this through the Stillmotion blog, and I love the words and the sentiment:
*Updated: I inadvertently posted the wrong video above. It's fixed now.
This wedding inspires me for all sorts of reasons, one of which is that it's one of the very first weddings I saw online after I was engaged. I'd seen plenty of wedding photographs before getting engaged, but in those first few weeks, every wedding I looked at took on additional meaning. At the time, I had no idea which direction our wedding would take, where it would be held, or even what the possibilities were. But I knew there was something about this wedding that I loved.
Unfortunately, I barely remembered seeing this wedding, and when I looked for it again it disappeared as quickly as I had found it. I just remembered the super-romantic lighting in the ceremony, and the beautiful bride in her incredibly sexy dress. I was so lucky that Janie at The Bride's Cafe decided to revisit Tia & Glen's wedding one year later.
Sticking most in my mind was Tia & Glen's romantic ceremony:
Tia's dress is a good example of something I wouldn't wear myself, but I do want to look this beautiful in my gown:
It's not often you get a great shot of just how *sparkly* a dress is:
Cute!
Here's what's weird; I'd saved this cake to my favorites when we first got engaged, and I couldn't for the life of me find where I got the file! Now I know:
It's so funny; one year later, our wedding is turning out to look very similar to this one: simple, elegant, romantic. I wonder if these images planted themselves in my subconscious, and influenced me! No, I've been watching too much Twilight Zone.*
What images from your first days of being engaged have stuck with you?
* I watch the Twilight Zone marathon every year for New Years' Eve -- but this year, FH gave me the DVD set for Christmas... can you hear that theme song in your head?
I'm starting to get a definite vision for the wedding now, less than eight months away. (!) So, I decided to make another inspiration board. Here it is (click to enlarge)!
I've been leaning toward the classic black-tie look, with a light pink/neutral color scheme. I don't have a lot of details yet, mostly because (a) there aren't going to be too many of them and (b) I haven't picked them yet! But here's an overall look. I imagine it will be honed down quite a bit between now and the big day! You might recognize the man in the tuxedo from my post on menswear the other day.
Credits: Place setting/table flowers by Cherie Photo (Amy & Sean). Bridal bouquet and aisle flowers from D Weddings, photo by Steven Karlisch (Lillian & Charles). Earrings by Tejani, style B0877. Small floral arrangement by Karen Tran. Image of Darcy Miller Nussbaum at her wedding from Martha Stewart Weddings, photo by Holger Thoss (Darcy & Andy). Invitations from Smock Papers (style Vettore). Place cards from Martha Stewart Weddings, photo by Dan Loh (Priya & Ralph). Dress from Priscilla of Boston, style 4111. Man in tuxedo from David Wittig (Dena & Gavin). Image of engagement set from the internet.
Despite our wedding being almost a year away, there are some things we've already decided. For some reason, neither of us can get excited about wedding cake. We always laugh when that cake show commercial comes on and the baker says, "The cake is the center of the wedding!" Really? Cake?! The center? Of the WEDDING? And then we dissolve into giggles.
I don't know why; I've been to plenty of weddings and had some pretty good cake. But I just can't justify paying $600-$1,000 (or more!) for what might just turn out to be expertly decorated waxy sugar. Although I definitely appreciate the artistry of those cake bakers & decorators; I know it's hard work!
So far, we've come up with the idea of having a cake display table. I'd love to have some cakes from our favorite local stores (Whole Foods makes an amazing plain round cake), accompanied by some photos on display and, Mr. PinkBroom's idea, to have some interesting or humorous cake toppers. I believe my mother saved her cake topper from her marriage to my dad nearly 40 (!) years ago; maybe we could put that among them.
I love this cake table from Jill & Mike's wedding:
For the record, I can't stand those cake toppers showing the bride dragging the groom away somewhere, those are awful. But maybe we could find a way to display a bunch of little humorous cake toppers, like this one currently making the rounds:
Ha!
Anyone else out there doing something alternative for your wedding cake?
On the sidebar, I've added a task list so you can see my wedding progress! As you can see, I've got quite a bit to do, which seems normal for someone with 11 months left.
I decided to list items based on what I've done so far, rather than what still has to be done, because that would get seriously overwhelming.
Ta-da! We have a venue! We now have an *official* wedding date!
We've been engaged for several months now, and it's so nice to feel like we've done something. Now, it's time for me to get started on... everything else. Oh, no...
Well, that didn't last long, did it? But it's great to finally have a place in mind and start creating a vision for the wedding.
We didn't go with the "loft" place, but we did end up with a place that wasn't a "typical Ballroom," either. It's got some traditional elements but has a modern sort of decor, and the room is beautiful - full of windows for lots of light.
Also, the price was excellent! I was starting to panic at the idea of having to provide all the extra decor and supplies for the loft wedding. We'd even have to buy napkins & silverware (cheaper than renting), and the idea of buying/renting things and then having to worry about setting everything up... no, thank you. I feel very peaceful about our choice!
An uncomfortable issue, for sure, but one worth talking about: wedding insurance.
The quickest way to get me to have a panic attack is to show me the wedding budget, and compare it to what's actually in our accounts. Sure, we have plans to save up (a whole schedule, in fact), and we aren't going into debt for our wedding (hooray!), and we have it all planned out. But you know what they say - God laughs when you make plans!
So, now that we're about to put down some hefty deposits (therefore committing to pay large amounts), we hope God is not laughing too hard. I'm thinking about wedding insurance.
I first found the idea from our interest in the loft/standalone venues, which require liability insurance. But I started looking into cancelation/postponement insurance. I've heard so many horror stories -- family tragedies, injuries, accidents, freak tornadoes, job losses, etc... I just hate thinking about it! And on top of that, people are forced to cancel and lose their money?! Most of the time in these situations, it's up to the sympathy of the vendor whether you get your money back or can use it towards a postponement. I thought it would be worth it to buy a little peace of mind.
We've created our: - budget, - guest list, - wedding website, - store registries, - timeline We have chosen the following vendors (we haven't booked them yet): - Invitations - Florist - DJ - photographer - hair/makeup artist - wedding planner And we've selected a honeymoon destination.
The last vendors to select: a cake baker, an officiant, and musicians (ceremony & cocktail hour).
What's holding us up? Well, we're currently working on the most important vendor of all: a venue! Once we find that, we'll be able to book the other vendors in no time! I won't even choose a dress until we have the venue in place.
This weekend I came across two articles that help me put wedding planning into perspective.
Which shade of pink? Which venue? How to arrange the tables? What about my dress? None of this matters nearly as much as the marriage itself.
This week's NYT wedding features Jennifer & Paul, who joined their families together in a lovely ceremony this week in Sacramento, CA. The article and its accompanying sidebar are worth a read.
Well, my outdoor wedding dreams have been put to rest.
This past weekend, we went to the historical site, the site of the photo in the previous post, and it was a let down. The buildings are run down, the fee is outrageous for what you get (and you have to PAY for air conditioning), the parking & restrooms are far away (a big inconvenience for guests, many of whom are elderly) and it's just not going to work.
And also? It's SO HOT!! It feels like it's 200 degrees outside. What was I thinking, hoping for a sunset ceremony in Texas in July? I can't stand the heat for 5 minutes! And I want to wear a wedding dress and get married in it? No, thank you! I guess I've been reading too much Martha Stewart.
On the way from that place, we stopped by a very cool loft south of downtown. The director was there setting up for a wedding, and I felt terrible for interrupting! But she was gracious enough to spend a few minutes with us and give us a tour. How nice! It looks so interesting:
But I am not so sure. A loft certainly seems to fit us. We're a pretty eclectic couple, we plan to have international music at our wedding. We love travel & culture. We watch international & independent films. Our favorite store is Anthropologie. There are so many ways we are not "mainstream." So there are definitely aspects of us that match a "cool loft" wedding.
So why is the decision so hard? Well, I am having a hard time letting go of that classic pink ballroom wedding aesthetic. I mean, it's so easy! Light pink is everywhere! Pink ballroom weddings are ubiquitous, and I see hundreds of them every day. It's easy to find a classic A-line romantic dress, perfectly pink swirly invitations, and lots of other traditional details. Not to mention it's the wedding I've pictured since I was much younger.
All this time I've been loudly decrying the sameness of these cookie-cutter weddings, and now I find that underneath it all, I want one of my own, even if it doesn't quite match us.
Should a wedding reflect your personal style, or should it be a reflection of what you aspire to? The latter seems absurd, especially since no matter how you "style" it, an American wedding is at once timeless, ritualistic, and yet hopelessly dated.
Stay tuned! I bet when you started reading this blog you didn't know I'd turn out to be so wildly inconsistent!
I've been a little agitated because negotiations with our intended venue seem to be a bust. Each time we talk with them, we end up with more questions than answers. We love this place and want to make it work for us.
So I jumped online to look at some backup options (being prepared to walk away, whether you state it or not, is always a good bargaining chip) and found some great ideas, and then got sidetracked by--what else?--wedding photography.
I remembered what I always promised I'd do while planning my wedding, and that is to focus on what the wedding is all about. As long as our guests are happy, and we're happy, and there's good music, good food, and good photography, what else matters? It could be in a barn or in the rain and as long as we have these things, it will be a wonderful & memorable wedding.
Here is the shot that helped me remember that (taken while the bride says good-night to her mom):
In my last post on the subject, I mentioned being frustrated that getting a dress in my size wouldn't be as simple as I'd originally thought. What illuminated this for me was the cost-benefit ratio; with the extra fees, I'd be paying for something that was *almost* like what I wanted, but not quite. And what's the point of that?
So I finally called this designer shop that makes dresses, one-of-a-kind and designed from scratch. Apparently you meet with the designer, get measured, and she sketches three selections for you. Once you choose one, they make the pattern, you try on a muslin mock-up, then they make the dress! And that's it!
With this particular designer, dresses start at less than $2k, and go up from there depending on what you want. No extra charges for a plus size. And, most important, she sounded incredibly competent and helpful when I spoke with her by phone. A custom dress, reasonably affordable--what a great opportunity!
At this, I went back to the drawing board. No longer was I limited to looking at dresses purely for shape or "ease of use," I could look at anything that inspired me. It only took me about 5 minutes to find my dream dress, as I went back to a designer I'd loved early on but dismissed because I "can't wear" her dresses: Melissa Sweet.
I already love the organza look, and I mostly love the sense of movement the fabric creates. So here is the dress I love (I encourage you to click the link so you can see the movement of the dress):
I love the spirit of this dress. This is the first time I looked at a dress and could actually picture myself getting married in it. I love its sophistication, its subtle sparkle, and of course, the fabric. If this were my "inspiration," I would modify the dress to replace the strapless neckline with a v-neck, and adjust the shape to be a modified A-line instead of a mermaid. It is really the unconventional embroidery & organza that make this dress what it is.
But honestly, I'm open to other ideas. I love ALL the dresses from Melissa Sweet, and if I had the body and the cash, I'd be thrilled to wear any of them. My other favorites:
This next one deviates from my "classic shape" idea, but it's *so* interesting and artistic, I can't resist!
This custom dress thing isn't like those ubiquitous Chinese shops, where you can show them something and say, "Design this!" I think it would be kind of insulting to dictate another designer's vision, but it's nice to know for sure what my inspiration is, so I will have something to show the design lady.
I've been dreading the "bridal shopping experience." I know plus sized brides don't have many options, and I've heard all the horror stories of salesladies being mean to us. But I still deserve a nice dress, right? So in a burst of courageousness, I made an appointment at a bridal shop.
This was a consignment shop, so they had used dresses that could be purchased off the rack. There's very little help from the salesladies and you can go through the racks by yourself to see if there's something you like. I didn't expect to find "the dress" here, but thought the consignment shop experience would be less harrowing than the full-on "bridal salon" nightmare, especially for a first time.
They only had three dresses in my size, which I expected. So I tried on the first dress. It was a strapless, beaded satin thing. I know I don't want strapless, but I want to try on *everything* before I decide. So I happily put it on. I was surprised to see that the strapless dress seemed to highlight my face, and I realized that my shoulders aren't quite as rounded as I thought. It was nice. When I looked in the mirror, I looked "bridal." I'm not sure if it's because it was the first dress I put on, or because it looks like the archetypal "bridal" image. Hm. I still don't want a strapless, but I suppose I could wear a well-altered one, in a pinch.
The second dress was a little different. It was the same exact dress, but instead of strapless it had a sheer short-sleeved addition to the top of it. It had a sweetheart neckline, which was more flattering, but I really hated it. I hate short sleeves, and the dress looked like it was 5 years old. Besides, what's the point of wearing a non-strapless dress if you STILL have to wear a strapless bra? Decide if you want sleeves or not! What a weird dress!
There was a third dress, but it was too big and fell off my shoulders, so I couldn't see much. What I did see wasn't worth mentioning.
Here's what was so difficult. I was the only bride there by myself, and there were three other (thin) girls there with their mothers. My mom lives 2,000 miles away. So I was a little sad. Also, the saleslady kept asking the other black girl's mom what she thought of my dresses. I get this all the time--we had to repeatedly tell her we weren't there together. The saleslady seemed confused; aren't all black people friends with each other? ::::sigh::::.
The hardest part was watching the thin girls try on dress after dress, all of which looked wonderful on them. One girl, getting married in Italy, wore a beautiful St. Pucchi dress which was on sale for only $2,000. It was hard to watch; me trying on my two disgusting satin concoctions while the others had the run of the store.
I'd prepared myself for the possibility that there wouldn't be any options, and I knew it would be difficult to see the other, prettier, smaller dresses. But I guess I wasn't prepared enough! It was all I could do not to burst into tears as I drove away from the dress shop.
The bright spot in all this is that I realized that I look nice; I like what I see in the mirror, I'm happy with the size I am. I deserve a beautiful dress as much as anyone, and I'm determined to find it (in my price range!). I'm thrilled to be getting married, and it shows. I'm going to look great! But for all of my self-confidence, this is still is a little hard. The best news is that after this experience, it will surely get easier from here.
Part 2 of my "dress reality" post is coming soon, and it's a lot more positive!
So I've been thinking a lot lately about how I want to look at my wedding, and I started doing some research. As it turns out, many of the dresses I thought were a possibility suddenly aren't.
On average, I wear a size 22/24. Lately, I'm in a 26 (I gained some "stress weight" after a horrible loss last year). In bridal dress sizes, this amounts to about a 30. It's very possible I'll go back to my average size before the wedding, but I don't know for sure, and I'm not going to put my life on hold to find out. So I'm looking for a size 30 (or 32) dress.
Most designers simply don't go up that far. I knew this, but thought I could get the dress custom sized. But then I started looking at the extra fees! For a "street size" 26, here are the bridal equivalents (this is all I've found so far):
Augusta Jones: size 30
- only some gowns
- add 45% of purchase price (?#$#@$%!!!!)
Alfred Angelo
- Every dress available up to size 32, no up-charge.
Allure bridals: size 32
- no upcharge
- hollow to hem add $50
Anjolique bridal: size 28/30/32
- ??
Bonny: size 26/28
- add $60
Casablanca: ??
- custom sizes available for extra charge.
David's Bridal: up to 26
- $100 to $150 extra for sizes 16W-26W
Demetrios: size 26/28
- add $150
Jasmine: size 28, customizable after that
- add $60
Lea Ann Belter: all dresses custom sized
- add ???
- $3000+
Saison Blanche: size 24/28
- add $40
There are only one or two designers in that list whose dresses I like. I'm sure several of the top tier designers (eg. Priscilla of Boston, etc.) will make a dress in any size you want, but I haven't looked those up, as those dresses are likely to be over $5,000.
So I'm faced with some choices here.
I could order a "regular" dress that costs $1500, and then end up paying $2500+ or so with extra fees and other Bridal Industry rip-offs -- and that doesn't even include the cost of alterations! Or, I could order a cheap dress that fits, but isn't anything like what I want to wear. Is there another option?
At this point I decided to look again at a little salon about 3 hours away that custom designs dresses. The brides on their site are thin, and their designs can be a little "out there..." would they be willing to make a simple, elegant dress for a plus sized bride? So, I called them up!
Next: part 2 of my "dress reality," and seeing the first dress that actually made me cry!
I drove all over the place to find the new Nordstrom Rack that was just opened, and there wasn't really anything there. I was disappointed, since it had taken me about an hour to find it (can you believe I got lost, even with a GPS!). But I did find it and on my way out, wandered over to the jewelry section. That's when I found these:
Look how pretty! I was immediately drawn to them. I love the way they catch the light and the way they move & sparkle. They even reflect the purple of the orchids behind them. Of course, I don't have a dress yet--but I do have a very clear idea of how I'd like the wedding to look, and since I have that, I'm letting my intuition guide me when it comes to the little things. How perfect!
I had my first wedding nightmare months ago, after we were first engaged and I'd just barely started wedding planning. I was already an emotional mess, feeling all kinds of happy & conflicting things as people do when faced with such a major life change!
The priority at the time was selecting a wedding venue, and I just couldn't find anything that seemed "right" for us. I was worried about finding a dress, and the budget, and all kinds of things.
So the nightmare started with the venue. Nothing was done, and I was in my (ugly) wedding dress with my mom and guests were scattered everywhere. The place had a weird red floor, and I was in my dress trying to put linen & table settings out. There were no flowers, since I'd forgotten to order them.
Then, in walks my photographer, Jessica Claire (wow, this really was a dream!). But because of all the chaos, she wasn't even shooting--she was helping us with the terrible mess. And there was a flood in the middle of all this.
Then, everyone was supposed to go upstairs for the ceremony. The venue had two floors, but no staircase! So people were upstairs and floating downstairs or falling outright.
My dress was dirty and in tatters. Everyone started to leave, and after 2 hours, there was no wedding at all. And Jessica Claire walked out (after shooting 2 photos) and said, "Wow, that was easy!" and all I could think was, "Oh no, there went $15,000!"
Unbelievable. I know nightmares are a part of the process, but I know they're not really about the wedding. They're about all the emotion & simultaneous reflection & looking forward that happens during engagement, bla bla bla... but they sure are hilarious!
I love pink, and I'm jumping the broom! I'm a teacher by day, photographer by weekend. And now, a bride, too! Follow me on my adventures in wedding planning, and find & share ideas for your wedding day!
