Dress Developments VIII: Shopping with the Moms Friday, January 15, 2010

After I decided to have my dress made, and after meeting two unsuitable seamstresses, I was lucky enough to discover the resource that is Fabrique! Fabrics. I went there this summer, met the owner, and was sold! Problem was, I wasn't quite ready to decide what dress I wanted to wear.

Fast forward to this fall, when my mother and grandmother visited me from out-of-state. True, I would never have that "trying-on-dresses" feeling with my mother there, but this would have to do.

My mother is a third generation sewing enthusiast. She learned the craft from my great-grandmother, with whom she spent her summers as a little girl. My mother made many of the clothes I wore as a kid. Old Christmas ornaments, many of my baby clothes, a quilt, and a Christmas dress that I remember being made from a pattern my mom cut out of paper bags. Eventually, we moved too many times and my mother remarked that buying clothes became cheaper than sewing, so I haven't seen her pull out her old Bernina in quite a while.

But I have many great memories of sewing with my mom. The picture at left is the sewing machine my mom used, a Bernina 830 (circa 1979 or so). She'll be happy to emphasize to you that it still works.

When I told her about Fabrique, that it was a couture fabric store that had an entire section dedicated to bridal fabrics, she was so excited! So I made sure to take her and my grandmother, and I felt like I had two experts on hand to help me in this first stage of bridal dress shopping.

The store has a good selection of bridal fabrics; almost any bridal dress fabric you've heard of is there: silk satin, silk dupioni, shantung, mikado, and even a few high quality poly-satins if I remember correctly. Here's my mom checking them all out:

And here's my beautiful grandmother, looking on (and surrounded by trim):

But my favorite is the lace. Lace!!! I don't want an all-over beaded lace dress (although I think they're beautiful), but I want to incorporate lace in some way. The laces at Fabrique range from $50 to over $400 per yard. Some are domestic, some are imported, but every one of them is stunning. Here, the store owner shows a hand-beaded lace, with crystals attached. You just have to click these to see the beautiful lace up close!

Yep, you read the price tag correctly. Here's another...

And this is the one I bought!

I bought some trim, and the beads happen to be nearly identical to this lace. Perfect!

My grandmother's hands rest next to my iPod. I bring that thing everywhere -- it's so helpful to be able to show vendors exactly what I want. I even have a runway video of the dress on my iPod, and it's indispensable. If you look carefully, you can see my sketch in the foreground.

Also in this picture, my grandmother is wearing her original wedding set. I wish I'd taken a better picture. She recently found this after it had been packed away. The set is over 50 years old, as it was given to her by my late grandfather when they married. How sweet!

Despite originally wanting to wear a matte fabric like silk dupioni or radzimir (if I could ever find it), I ended up choosing a smooth, lustrous silk satin. Silk satin is responsible for beautiful gowns like these (click to see the fabric in motion):

Along with the fabric, I chose the beaded lace, and the matching trim. My grandmother decided to buy the dress fabric for me as a birthday present! I am so humbled by this and hope the dress is as beautiful as we envision it.

Dress Developments VII: Totally Unexpected Monday, January 11, 2010

I scheduled a meeting with the seamstress this week, but in a moment of bravery I decided that I wanted to try one last time to try on actual wedding dresses.

The last time I went to a bridal salon was in the summer. I admit that I'd been swayed by the horror stories of other plus size brides who were instructed to stand in their underwear and hold a dress up to them (?!), and other atrocities. But I was armed with a new determination and a more fearless attitude. I'd heard good things about Alfred Angelo, and thought I'd give them a try.

As it happens, one of my MsOH lives nearby, and when I called her 30 minutes prior to the appointment (that I'd just made) to tell her I'd be in the area, it turns out she was free for the day and came right down to the salon to help me!

The woman on the phone was extremely helpful and friendly when I spoke to her and asked about sizes, so I was very encouraged. We went in, and the saleslady asked me what styles I wanted to try on. I told her that I'd never been to a salon where I had more than one or two options, so I told her the style I thought would work for me. But I fully intended to take the advice from Weddingbee brides, who always say to try on things you don't think you'll like, so I told her I was open to anything!

And now for the necessary warning:

source

First, I tried on a dress that I thought was a sure thing: Alfred Angelo's 1148. Asymmetrical draping, off-the-shoulder... everything that had been recommended for a bride of my shape. Here it is:

Whoops! Can we say, "too much fabric?" So much for the draped look. And the off-shoulder neckline does frame my face nicely... but it makes my shoulders look even more sloped. The first word that came to mind when I saw this was "sausage." What a nightmare. Moving on.

We tried on a couple more, mostly dresses that I won't picture here or I pulled off as soon as I put them on. I just wasn't sure... until we tried on this one, the 2024. I'm not planning to wear any color with my dress, but the sash can be changed. Here it is:

Here's where it gets interesting: I always said I'd *never* wear strapless. But it's quite the improvement over the 1148. My shoulders get to show whatever shape they have, my upper back isn't nearly as "puffy" as I thought, and I like the clean, plain top. It's a little "princessy," though. Let's try another one!

Here's the 830. Simple and clean, and the fabric is very pretty in person; the satin almost looks like dupioni. I like this one the best. Keep in mind this dress is one or two sizes too small.

Hey, look! I have a shape! Eri took some pictures with my pro camera, and you can see how luminous the fabric is. Clearly above my expectations for Alfred Angelo (sorry to any AA fans out there)!

Cool! I have a profile, even.

So, I came away from the shopping trip and learned a few things.
- I am not worried about strapless. I like my shoulders; it's my arms that I'm self conscious about. But my arms will look the same whether my dress has straps or not. So, who cares?
- NO DRAPING of any kind. Plain & simple!
- A wrap-style top is definitely the way to go to soften up my giant bustline.
- Waist definition is great!
- A plain A-line skirt looks *awesome*.
- I still want to have my dress made. Even if the 830 were ordered in my size, it's not quite perfect for me. 

I'm so glad I made those phone calls, both to the salon and to my MOH. I'd always wanted that bridal dress shopping experience, and I finally got it. I was always sad that I couldn't go dress shopping with my mom and expected to go it alone. But I'm so glad MOH was there to take lots of pictures and be encouraging! What a great friend. Incidentally, MOH understood exactly how I felt. Two years ago, she also shopped for her wedding dress alone. Her mom lives in Japan, much farther away than mine.

Next up? What will I do with all this knowledge? I meet with the seamstress this week...!

Dress Distress! Sunday, May 24, 2009

I've been dreading the "bridal shopping experience." I know plus sized brides don't have many options, and I've heard all the horror stories of salesladies being mean to us. But I still deserve a nice dress, right? So in a burst of courageousness, I made an appointment at a bridal shop. 

This was a consignment shop, so they had used dresses that could be purchased off the rack. There's very little help from the salesladies and you can go through the racks by yourself to see if there's something you like. I didn't expect to find "the dress" here, but thought the consignment shop experience would be less harrowing than the full-on "bridal salon" nightmare, especially for a first time. 

They only had three dresses in my size, which I expected. So I tried on the first dress. It was a strapless, beaded satin thing. I know I don't want strapless, but I want to try on *everything* before I decide. So I happily put it on. I was surprised to see that the strapless dress seemed to highlight my face, and I realized that my shoulders aren't quite as rounded as I thought. It was nice. When I looked in the mirror, I looked "bridal." I'm not sure if it's because it was the first dress I put on, or because it looks like the archetypal "bridal" image. Hm. I still don't want a strapless, but I suppose I could wear a well-altered one, in a pinch. 

The second dress was a little different. It was the same exact dress, but instead of strapless it had a sheer short-sleeved addition to the top of it. It had a sweetheart neckline, which was more flattering, but I really hated it. I hate short sleeves, and the dress looked like it was 5 years old. Besides, what's the point of wearing a non-strapless dress if you STILL have to wear a strapless bra? Decide if you want sleeves or not! What a weird dress!

There was a third dress, but it was too big and fell off my shoulders, so I couldn't see much. What I did see wasn't worth mentioning. 

Here's what was so difficult. I was the only bride there by myself, and there were three other (thin) girls there with their mothers. My mom lives 2,000 miles away. So I was a little sad. Also, the saleslady kept asking the other black girl's mom what she thought of my dresses. I get this all the time--we had to repeatedly tell her we weren't there together. The saleslady seemed confused; aren't all black people friends with each other? ::::sigh::::. 

The hardest part was watching the thin girls try on dress after dress, all of which looked wonderful on them. One girl, getting married in Italy, wore a beautiful St. Pucchi dress which was on sale for only $2,000. It was hard to watch; me trying on my two disgusting satin concoctions while the others had the run of the store. 

I'd prepared myself for the possibility that there wouldn't be any options, and I knew it would be difficult to see the other, prettier, smaller dresses. But I guess I wasn't prepared enough! It was all I could do not to burst into tears as I drove away from the dress shop. 

The bright spot in all this is that I realized that I look nice; I like what I see in the mirror, I'm happy with the size I am. I deserve a beautiful dress as much as anyone, and I'm determined to find it (in my price range!). I'm thrilled to be getting married, and it shows. I'm going to look great! But for all of my self-confidence, this is still is a little hard. The best news is that after this experience, it will surely get easier from here.

Part 2 of my "dress reality" post is coming soon, and it's a lot more positive!