Andrew Young and the Sanctity of Marriage Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Every so often, I bring my ipod of podcasts to work with me to catch up. This week, I listened to the New York Times' book review and interview with Andrew Young, the staffer who covered for his friend John Edwards and was unceremoniously dumped when Edwards' scandal broke and destroyed everything. Then he wrote a book about it.

I kept listening to Mr. Young's account of things, and, later in the interview, his admission that his own role in the cover-up was morally inept, and I kept wondering: what does his wife think? I know what I think.

How many of us have ever covered for friends when we were younger? "Hey, can I tell my mom I'm at your house?" Or covered for a boss if he's out of the office? I haven't done either of these things (my friends weren't cool enough, I guess... and I haven't worked in enough offices to take calls from a boss' relatives).

But if you were Mrs. Young, what would you think about the fact that your husband, the one who promised to love and honor you, helped to cover up a sexual compulsion as nasty as John Edwards'? It's one thing to make a bad choice once. But how can Mr. Young look himself in the mirror now, knowing he repeatedly contributed to the pain and suffering of someone else? That he was complicit in the actions that led to the destruction of a marriage?

Much has been made of the "what would you do if your spouse was cheating" issue, but this is a little different. Andrew Young may have remained faithful to his own spouse, but what do his actions say about his belief in marriage? At what point would you determine this a line crossed? What would you say if someone asked you to cover for them, and you knew they were having an affair? What would you say if your spouse did that for someone else? How would you balance that with the need to keep your job? If you were in on the betrayal, would you feel complicit in the deception? Would you keep quiet?

*Photo from flickr.